Trying to sound intelligent

2007-08-24T16:39:00.000-04:00

There's a saying something about those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Or something like that. Well...i've decided that sometimes that is crap. Because quite frankly, i just don't think people should look back. It's not always a pretty sight. I'm not a person who enjoys looking back. While there are good things behind me...there are some ugly things behind me too. These ugly things may have names...and may be people. So here's to not looking back...and instead always looking forward. To hell with repeating history, i'd rather repeat it, than relive it.

2007-08-22T19:59:00.001-04:00

I've been having very vivid dreams. For those of who you know me well, you know that it is not unusual to have sleeping problems. I have had some semblance of a sleep disorder since i was about 12. You name it...insomnia, nightmares, sleep walking, not staying asleep, excessive daytime drowsiness, and now ridiculously vivid dreams. Now some of you may think vivid dreams are very cool (and by vivid dreams i mean, they feel real and i wake up feeling like i have actually done whatever was going on in the dream. After discussing dreams with several people it has become clear that i dream very differently than most people), but in reality they are not. I wake up exhausted. I don't feel rested at all. I fall asleep at work, i have fallen asleep driving home from work in traffic, and i almost always need a nap after work. I get 7.5 hours of sleep a night, work out regularly, and eat healthy. So i can only assume it is the dreams that are making me tired. Well, last night i went to bed, and dreamed what i would consider normally. Not excessively vivid, and today i feel completely refreshed! I couldn't believe the difference! I didn't have a hard time waking up, i wasn't tired in the afternoon, i didn't take a nap, and i even had energy to do the dishes and other chores. It was amazing!! I supposed this is how i'm supposed to feel all the time. It's one of those things that you don't realize how tired you really are until you aren't tired anymore.

I've done a little internet search on vivid dreams disturbing sleep, but i haven't really seen anything that rings any bells. Research does say that vivid dreaming does in fact disturb sleep, and there are many reasons for this dreaming. But none of them apply to me. Reasons include menopause, certain medications, and stress. I'm too young for one, i'm on no new medication, and i'm more relaxed than i have been in years. So i'm out of ideas at this point. I did manage to sleep great last night though, so i'm hoping to repeat this again tonight.

Don't wish me sweet dreams...please wish for no dreams.

2007-08-15T17:28:00.001-04:00

So i haven't posted in a while. But here i am! My hand is good. So far no problems. Every once in a while it feels a little funny, but it seems that it has finally decided to behave. Work=good. Alex=good. There are the updates.

Pet Peeve of the day:

People who stand at the exit ramp of the highway with their sob story signs begging for money. All the while they are smoking a cigarette, and standing on a corner that has a McDonald's with a "Now Hiring" sign. I refuse to give money to someone, when all they have to do is turn around and say "would you like fries with that?" Wouldn't it be easier to work in a fast food restaurant than to stand out in 95 degree weather in the direct sun for hours hoping to make a few bucks. At least at McDonald's, you work inside and are guaranteed a certain amount of money. Rant over.

I am watching the news and they are discussing the start of the new school year and all the hopes for that especially with the new uniforms. In the background is a big pregnant teenager, not in uniform. Now thats hope for ya.

2007-07-04T19:39:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July! I had to go back to the surgeon this week. The news was not good. He told me that i'm going to have to be in pain for the next 20 years until my joint deteriorates enough to be replaced. And when it does hurt, i'm supposed to take Aleve to "take the edge off".

Now...i am not trying to have surgery. In fact that's the last resort to me. I'd much prefer something like a cortisone shot...or voodoo. I don't really care at this point...as long as it feels better. I've been in pain for a year now...and the thought of hurting for another 20 years is just down right depressing. I'm a chemist and i work with my hands everyday. It's part of my job. On top of work...i like to play tennis, crochet, cross stitch, and scrapbook. These activities involve working with my hands. So having my hand hurt to the point where i can't do these activities or work for 10-15 days out of the month is just unacceptable to me. Surely there's got to be something that can be done.

I'm alright with not having surgery. And if i do in fact have to wait 20 years until my joint deteriorates "enough" (whatever that is) then can't i get some pain relief while i wait for the inevitable? I'm no doctor...but i don't think i'm asking too much. Honestly i feel like the surgeon thinks i'm just being a baby about my hand. I don't feel like he's taking me very seriously. So i think i'm going to seek a second opinion. I don't like doing that...but surely something can be done to at least control the pain. Right?

2007-06-30T23:00:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted song lyrics in a while. I've posted this song before...but it's been a long time. However instead of the whole song i'm only going to post excerpts that strike me for one reason or another.

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, i've walked this floor
I used to live alone before i knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
what's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when i moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Maybe there's a god above
and all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

In unrelated news, Nancy Grace is the biggest bitch alive. Seriously...is that woman human?
I hate dreaming of ex-boyfriends...it puts me in a retrospective funk for a day.
My hand is hurting sporadically, and the surgeon is give me nothing. He says i need to wait for it to hurt for an entire week. I'm on day three. And should i mention it's hurting worse and in a less localized area than before. Yeah...I'm broken and no one knows why.

2007-06-28T18:20:00.000-04:00

I'm not really a sports person. I don't watch them on TV...i don't generally keep up with teams (except the Colts...and that's mostly b/c you can't live in Indy without hearing about every time Peyton Manning blows his nose). However...tonight i found discussion of the NBA draft picks tolerable. Is this a change of heart for me about basketball? Not likely. In fact...other than soccer, basketball has got to be the most boring sport to watch. So then why in the world would i ever want to watch basketball politics...which is easily 10X more boring than an actual basketball game. The reason? Because all they could talk about was fashion! What is Greg Oden wearing? What is Mike Conley Jr. wearing? Well let me tell you...Greg Oden is wearing a gray suit...nothing too flashy. Oh and the other guy (who's going to be the number 2 draft pick) is wearing a tan suit with a red tie. Once again...something sophisticated, nothing to fancy. And why do we care what these men are wearing? And when did the sports guy on Channel 13 news become Joan Rivers? I will say though...taking this approach may help the ratings. I mean...get these guys a red carpet and see how many people watch then!

2007-05-28T20:27:00.000-04:00

Ah...memorial day weekend. I've had people ask me what i did this weekend. I think the more appropriate question is what didn't i do. Friday night Alex (two mentions in my blog in a row...he's becoming a regular) came down and we went to Moser's party. It was lots of fun involving Blue Moon and inverted jello shots (which i did not participate in).

Saturday was May Day. Chevelle, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, and Chris Cornell was there. Chevelle was good (what we saw of them anyway), Breaking Benjamin was awesome as always, and Three Days Grace rocked! Chris Cornell however....not so much. I have often thought that the reason i liked Audioslave was b/c i liked Tom Morello, now i know that for a fact. He was alright...but he wasn't great. We actually left about 3/4 through his set and our car was parked near his tour bus. As we were leaving some 16 year old traffic directors told us to stop. So we wait, and wait...and wait. There are no cars coming...there is no one walking...nothing. Totally empty road in front of us. After about five minutes i get out of the car to see what the deal is. They tell me "We're waiting on an escort for Chris Cornell." I say "But he's still on stage!" They tell me "well...he'll be done in a minute." And i say "By the time i get through here...he'll still be on stage!" They just say sorry and i go back to my car. A guy a few cars behind me had also gotten out to see what the deal was and he asked me what was going on. In my very classy way (and by classy i mean laced with profanity) that we are waiting on a @*#% escort for Chris Cornell, who is still on the !#@* stage. When i get back into my car...the 16 year olds decided to let me through. I suppose they can listen to reason after all!

Sunday morning i drove up to Fort Wayne and went to my old church and then i went to Sarah and Ryan's. We went to a cook out and then saw Spider Man 3. It was lots of fun except Ryan's friend. He refused to lean back in the theater chair b/c he might get lice. Are you serious? If you are that concerned about that kind of thing...you should not be out in society. Oh...and throughout the entire movie he kept making comments like "This is gay." Seriously?? Seriously! Freaking ridiculous! There were two people sitting between us and i could hear him loud and clear. Completely unnecessary. Nothing irritates me more than someone who feels the need to criticize everything. Clearly you think your opinion is so important that all the rest of us want to hear it. No thanks. Today we just laid out in the sun and took a nice walk.

I'm pretty wore out now.

2007-05-23T18:01:00.001-04:00

I know you were all concerned...but i am in fact alive. So let's get all the update stuff out of the way.

Occupational therapy finally worked...it just took a while to kick in. I'm back to lifting weights, and will hopefully start playing tennis with Hardy soonish. :-)
Work is going well. Nothing really excited to report on that front. It's just work...however...i will say that on the whole i feel more at home in Indy than i ever did in Fort Wayne.
Columbo is doing very well. He is as ornery as ever but that's the way i like him.

Goings on:
This weekend is May Day with Jackie and Hardy. Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle, Three Days Grace, and Chris Cornell. Yes...it's okay for you to be jealous. I'm also going to Fort Wayne to visit Sarah and see the belly. :-) I'm very excited.

Last weekend i went to a housewarming party for deMarco with Alex. Who is Alex you say? Oh just some guy i've been hanging out with for a few months.

I'll be back in SC in August and over Thanksgiving. I'm not sure i'll have time to visit with people in August. Thanksgiving looks more promising. I may need to get away...my mom is getting all hormonal on me.

Complaints:
I was watching NBC Nightly News last night. Can i just say that the average Bush supporter is an idiot. NBC is notorious for being liberal news...whatever that's fine. But a woman complained b/c Brian Williams referred to Bill Clinton as Mr. President when addressing him. She ranted that no former president (and by that she means no former DEMOCRAT president) should be called Mr. President. "That distinction is only for the current president". She also (not so) subtly suggested that NBC was slighting Bush by implying that they don't consider him the president. Hello!!! All former presidents have been referred to as Mr. President. That's the way it's always been. I would suggest you get your facts straight before you blast a national anchor on TV, b/c it just makes you look like an idiot when he publicly corrects you. She said at the end of her e-mail that she's going back to the "real" news, Fox. Last time i checked...Fox was no more the "real" news than CNN. It's just the "real" news that you want to hear.

The 2008 election is rapidly approaching...so expect more politically charged blogs. That is...if i can remember to blog.

2007-04-28T20:45:00.000-04:00

I've noticed that my blogging is inversely proportional to how busy i am. Let's review that in an equation.

rate of blogging {insert alpha symbol here} Audra's social calender-1

Now that the nerdiness is over for the week i can fill you in.

Occupational therapy is going okay...but not really well i'd say. As long as i wear my brace, don't do anything with my right hand, and take my anti-inflammatory i'm fine. The second i forget one of these things...i'm back in pain. I go back to the doctor on May 9th. So we'll see from there what we're going to do.

Next week is our big inspection at work so everyone was running around like crazy last week. This is my first time going through our big reaccreditation inspection. Yike!

I went to the Haute today for AXE initiation. It was a lot of fun, and hopefully i'll be able to go again since i live closer.

Oh...and Columbo is sick. Some stomach problems (use your imagination) but otherwise he acts totally normal. So i took him to the vet so he's on a bland diet and some meds. Hopefully he'll get to feeling better soon.

That's all i got for now. Updates to follow i'm sure.

2007-04-10T18:49:00.000-04:00

So i had my doctor's appointment today. The doctor thinks that i have tendonitis and a problem with my ligament. So i'm going to have to go to occupational therapy and wear a special brace...and anything else the occupational therapist wants me to do. Yeah. I'm supposed to ice my hand every night and he gave me an anti-inflammatory to take. So here's hoping that all this stuff works b/c if it doesn't i'll need an MRI to see what's going on with the tendon there.

Wish me luck with my therapy!

2007-04-08T14:53:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lapse in writing. Things have been crazy busy around here! But now that my parents have come and gone things will calm down a little i think.

Work is going well and i'm finding my place to fit in at work. Things on the personal front are going well also. I've gotten into a regular schedule and working out with Dianna. It makes me feel good to get back to the gym. People always tell you how much better they feel when they work out regularly, but it is so true! Now if i can just lose the few pounds i put on during the transition phase i'll be in good shape, both figuratively and literally.

I haven't asked the guy from the gym out yet. Mostly because i haven't been to that particular gym in a few weeks, i've been going to the one closer to my apartment. But i'll be sure to keep all my faithful readers updated on how that's going. Other than that there is nothing romantic to report.

I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday for my hand. wish me luck. I'm hoping either for a past injury or tendonitis. That's better than arthritis or carpal tunnel. Those would be the worst i think. We'll just have to wait and see.

I have nothing going on for the next few weekends so i may not have anything exciting to report.

2007-03-15T18:27:00.000-04:00

I have met my husband. I don't know his name...nor do i know if he is literate or not, but he is just so beautiful that i'm convinced i could overlook many things. I spied him at the gym. I think i'll be working out a lot more. I'm going karaokeing with Dianna and a few people, but really all i can think right now is "How in the hell am i going to strike up a conversation with Mr. Right (now)?"

Suggestions would be appreciated. Anyone whose suggestion i go with, will win a prize. Especially if it works. So start cranking those game engines (game as in "i need some game").

2007-03-10T21:30:00.000-05:00

I'm back from Mexico! I lived and am in one piece!! Here's a recap of the trip.

Wednesday: Arrive in Mexico and take a cab to the hotel. We get served OJ with grenadine and get taken to our room. Our room is fabulous and we change out of our winter clothes and into our summer clothes. It's 85 degrees!!! We walked around Cozumel (our hotel was right downtown) and checked out the scenery. After walking around for a little bit we decide to buy a Cuban cigar and have a beer before going to our room and showering for dinner. Well...Jackie and i are not very good at the whole cigar thing. We had a hard time getting it lit and keeping it lit. Well...we had to keep drinking while smoking (because i just can't do it otherwise) and before you know it we've drank 4 beers and had 2 shots of tequila a piece (the bar had a special that if you bought 2 coronas they gave you a free shot of tequila). Needless to say, 2 hours later we were hosed. In this process we met a couple and started talking to them. Somehow the topic of bonging beers came up and i said that i've never bonged a beer before. The guy whips a bong out and before you know it i'm bonging my first beer. Well after that Jackie and i stumble back into our hotel room and take a nap. I didn't make it to dinner but after she came back i showered and we got ready to go out to the bar. Well...the bar just wasn't happening so we went back to our hotel room and went to bed early. I know...losers.

Thursday: We woke up really early because we had to meet at the main pier at 6:45am for our all day tour to Xel-ha (pronouced Shell-Ha) and Tulum. Xel-ha is a natural water park on a river on the mainland (Cancun to be exact). We took a ferry across to the mainland and then a bus to Xel-ha. We relaxed near the river for most of the day and took pictures of Europeans in their speedos. After that we went to Tulum and toured the Mayan ruins for a few hours. It was really incredible b/c Tulum is on a cliff overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. The water was so beautifully clear! We took the ferry back to Cozumel and finally got back to the hotel around 8:00pm. We laid down to take a nap and jackie set her alarm for 10:00 so we could get up and hit the bar. Well...jackie put her alarm on vibrate and it went off for an hour and never woke her up. Since it wasn't on ring i couldn't hear it either. I woke up at midnight still wearing my bathing suit and shorts. Well...i just went back to sleep and figured we'd hit the bar the next day.

Friday: We get up really early and grab breakfast at McDonald's. Our hotel told us that we had free admission to a beach called "Mr. Sanchoz" so we figured we'd go there. Talk about the worst beach in the world! There was no one there, there wasn't really any beach to lay on and the ground was too rocky to really play in the water, so we had one beer and went to Playa Mia. It was much better, but you did have to pay to get in. It was worth it though! After getting fried on the beach we had dinner at Hard Rock and then hit the bar. We started at Fat Tuesday and we had a cute waiter who liked to give us name tags. My name tag said "J Lo ass". I had no idea i had a booty quite like J Lo's...but hey...i'll take it! We ended the night at Senor Frogs.

Saturday: We went to Dzul-ha (pronouced Zull-ha) and went snorkling. It was great! I've never been snorkling before and thought it was the greatest thing ever! We spent the entire day snorkling. That night we hit Senor Frogs.

That was the end of our trip, we had to fly back on Sunday. That was our trip and it was definitely needed. I was in serious need of a vacation, and it was nice to finally get one!

2007-02-25T15:46:00.000-05:00

Okay...i've finally got time to sit down and write a blog. First let's start with the drama before i left Fort Wayne and then i'll fill you in on the stuff here in Indy.

Two weeks before i moved, my neighbor came over to my apartment and told me that if i saw "K"s car, to call the police because they are looking for her boyfriend. This is the same boyfriend who has the shady friend that asked me all about drugs and the same boyfriend who i've smelled pot coming from his apartment. Apparently he stole "K"s ATM card, took out $1,000 from her bank account, stole a gun, stole her car and came back to her apartment. Locked himself in the bedroom and threatened to shoot himself. Then he came busting out of the bedroom, pointed the gun at "K" and threatened to kill her. Then says "Call the cops so i'll get in a high speed pursuit and kill myself". And then he proceeds to steal her car. Nice. The cops had been to the apartment and i heard a lot of commotion, but i just thought it was the kids next door. They eventually found him and arrested him.

Then...the Monday before my move, i was sleeping on the couch at 9:45. Suddenly someone starts banging on the door, like they are the cops or something. I open the door and see smoke pouring into my apartment and the alarm is going off. So i grab Columbo and run outside. Mind you, i have on no shoes and no jacket, and it's probably only 20 degrees outside. Smoke has filled the entire apartment building, and it's hard to breath as i'm running down the stairs. Well when i get outside, three people are on their cell phones. So i ask if anyone has called 911 yet. I hear a resounding, "NO". So i go grab my cell phone, and a blanket (the kid next door was in the tub and didn't have any clothes on) and called 911. As i'm talking to the operator, the guy across the hall is knocking on everyone's door to make sure they are getting out of the building. They knock on the door of the woman below my apartment and when she opens the door smoke starts pouring out of her apartment. But she refused to leave because she couldn't get her cat. How ridiculous! So the police show up first and remove her from the building and then the fire department how shows up and goes into her apartment. Come to find out she was cooking chicken and got sick. It was nothing but a burnt crisp. There was so much smoke in the building it was ridiculous. So they had to get a fan and suck out the smoke and we were allowed to go back inside. The building smelled like smoke the next day, but then it was all pretty much gone.

THEN, this week, my first week in Indianapolis i find out that there were break ins at Brighton Meadows (my old apartment). Some kids broke into the leasing office, stole keys on Wednesday. Then on Monday night (five days later) they broke into a woman's apartment (she woke up to find four men around her bed, talk about scary). They bound, gagged her, and shot her with a pellet gun. Then they robbed her. Next they went to another apartment where two men and two women were living. They bound and gagged the two men and one of the women. Then one of the guys had the other woman drive him to the ATM and take money out of her bank. Only she couldn't get any money out. So the guy just left her at the bank and drove off. While all that was going on, the first woman chewed through the tape and ran to the neighbor and called the police. How scary!!! Needless to say, i'm glad that i'm not living there anymore.

So far Indy is going okay. Nothing too exciting to report really. I'm getting settled in pretty well and just slowly putting things away. Mexico is next week. How exciting!!! Well that's all i got for now. I'll probably write more when i come back from Mexico! Hooray! I'm sure i'll have lots of good pictures too.

2007-02-18T19:39:00.000-05:00

The move has ocurred, and i'm feeling a little more than overwhelmed. I'll write more about my last few weeks...there's lots of drama that happened. To give you a preview...it involves cops, a fire, and a U-Haul that was too small.

I don't have time now to write...please forgive me...but this is just a little too much for me to process at the moment. Breathe...just breathe.

2007-01-30T21:37:00.000-05:00

So i colored my hair today. It's a little redder than i wanted. I'm a little...nervous. I'll get used to it. Right?

2007-01-30T17:12:00.000-05:00

Article on Breastfeeding

Ya know what...i don't have a problem with a woman breastfeeding in public. It's natural...and part of having a baby.

However...why do some women feel it is necessary that they be able to have their breasts hanging out simply because they are a new mother. It's bad enough new and expectant mothers get better parking spots...but now they have to be allowed to have their breast flopping all over the place? Seriously...cover that up! I know there's this whole argument that we as a society are not comfortable with the functional part of breasts blah blah blah. And while all that may be true i don't think it excuses these women. Is it really that much of an inconvenience for you to place a blanket over your breast and your baby. We all know what you're doing...so if you're going for the display "HEY LOOK AT ME!! I BREASTFEED MY BABY!!!!" you have accomplished it. In the above article, there is a particular woman who was offended b/c they wanted her to cover up in the restaurant. They were not asking her to leave...or to stop all together. No...only to cover up. I think that's a perfectly reasonable request. You're in a restaurant for God's sake!

I get that it's natural...a part of life and should be treated as such. However...pissing is too. And we can't do that in public! Now some of you may thinking that pissing in public creates a hazard with human waste being out in public....but what if you pee in a bottle? Particularly if you are a man....yeah your penis is exposed...but hey! it's not functioning as a sexual organ at that moment...but as a functional one. Isn't that what these lactivists are screaming about? So i recommend we all have a "piss in". Similar to the "nurse ins"...for all the same reasons! Who's with me?!

2007-01-25T17:16:00.000-05:00

Humiliation thy name is Audra.

Brett tried to be my friend on myspace. I sent him a message saying to not be my friend b/c a part of me still loves him. Yeah...i definitely had a momentary lapse of judgment there. Anyway...nausea quickly set in after i realized i had pushed send. In the words of Jackie "don't you wish there was an 'undo' button for life?" How incredibly true that statement is. So clearly i'm having some attachment issues. Either that or it's been so long since i've actually cared about anyone that i'm confusing love with disinterest. Any luck that's it? Oh yeah...and he has a girlfriend. That probably didn't help the brief moment of break down. Suck. At least i'll be so busy with the move that i won't be able to dwell on anything. That's what i'm hoping for.

Somedays...i wish i wasn't such a Scorpio.

2007-01-23T21:16:00.000-05:00

So i'm feeling a little stressed out these days. The move is less than a month away, and for some reason i'm kinda freaking out a little. Nothing major...just a little anxiety. I'm worried that i have all these hopes for a better life in indy, and i'm concerned that i'm only going to be disappointed. I'm worried i won't like working in the new lab, and that i won't like living in Indy. I can't possibly imagine it being worse than Fort Wayne...but i honestly haven't felt "at home" anywhere since I left Rose-Hulman. What made that place feel like home was the people, and i'm hoping since the important people will be living in Indy...i'll get a similar feeling when i move. I'm tired of feeling misplaced, but I know that i won't be living in indy forever. Secretly...i kinda want to settle down and buy a house somewhere. But at this moment, i know Indy is not that place. Maybe that'll change once i get there and settle into a life there, but i'll never get used to the Indiana winters. Anyway...enough of my whining.

The biggest problem with all this is i don't do well with change. I'm not good at changing my routine and i don't like uprooting myself. It would just be nice to know that i don't have to do that anymore. But i know at least one more move is inevitable. And i'm pretty sure more will happen. I hope one day that i'll be like my parents and find a place that i just want to stay forever.

2007-01-21T15:08:00.000-05:00

More surveyish fun!

It's trying to use my first initial to answer all these questions.

Audra

1. Athlete: Andre Agassi

2. 4 letter word: aura

3. Street name: Alpine (street i grew up on)

4. Color: Aqua

5. Gifts/presents: alarm clock (got it for christmas)

6. Vehicles: Audi

7. Tropical Locations: Aruba

8. College Majors: Aerospace Engineering

9. Dairy Products: I got nothing

10. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Automobile stickers

11. Boy Name: Andrew

12. Girl Name: Allison

13. Movie Titles: An Affair to Remember

14. Alcohol: Absolut

15. Occupations: Architect

16. Flower: African Violet

17. Celebrities: Angelina Jolie

18. Magazines: American Journal of Forensic Science?

19. U.S. Cities: Albany, New York

20. Pro Sports Teams: Atlanta Falcons

2007-01-16T20:35:00.000-05:00

Man have i been a busy girl! I went to Indy on Saturday and found myself an apartment. It's a one bedroom with a den, 841 square feet. I'm so ready to move in. I came back from Indy on saturday and spent all day sunday doing laundry and stuff. monday was spent taking down the christmas tree, finishing laundry, cleaning the apartment, and packing stuff up.

Today i went to the new lab and scoped out my desk. It's huge! It's so much more space than i have right now. The work space is also huge. I have my own hood, my own sampling area, my own extraction area. It's great. I can't wait until February. The move is officially Feb. 17, so i'll be pretty busy between now and then. So i apologize in advance if there are sparce blogs.

A funny story to share with you all though. A friend of mine asked me out to a movie for last weekend. Although we've gone out before it seemed that this time it was different. i.e. we're talking date here. So saturday we were supposed to go to a movie. He texted me in the middle of the day on and says "i can't go out tonight b/c money is really tight". Okay...that's fine whatever. So i suggested that we just watch a movie at my place. It's free after all. But i never heard back from him. I get a text the next morning saying "by the way...i think you're really attractive so that made me nervous last night". What??!!! Excuse me?! That's definitely the first time i've ever heard that excuse. So what exactly does that mean? I mean...seriously! I'm sure there have been guys who were nervous about going out with me....but none of them ever cancelled on me b/c they thought i was pretty. Where do i find these people? Anyway, he apologized and asked if we could start over. Normally i would say no...but...since i'm leaving in a month...i figure why not go out and have some fun. It's only temporary anyway.

2007-01-11T20:28:00.000-05:00

I'm finally not sick anymore. Yeah! I have managed to recover after the horrible flu. This is a little late for this...but it's the first chance i've had to get around to it.

It's RESOLUTION time! It's that time when i make promises to myself and then spend the entire year feeling awful b/c i realize i have absolutely no will power to keep my resolution(s). But...i do it every year anyway...b/c believe it or not...i'm a sucker for traditions. I know some people think this is totally stupid (read: Hayley) and that the first of the year shouldn't be anymore special than the 134 day of the year...but i'm gonna do it anyway!

Resolution 1: I will stop pining for the man i can't have

Resolution 2: I would like 50% of my wardrobe to be a size 4

Resolution 3: Revive my social life i.e. going out with my girlfriends at least once a month

And there you have it. I think that all three of these resolutions are easily attainable. The first one being the most difficult and the third one being the easiest.

2007-01-07T19:50:00.000-05:00

Survey time b/c i'm still sickly

Do you have the following in your bedroom:

Condoms: yes

Chair/stool: a chair with a care bear cushion

Book shelf: nope that's in the living room

Dresser: yes and it is full to the brim

Computer/laptop: living room again

Bean bag: i gave mine up when i was like 14

Mirror: full length and one over my dresser

Skateboard: nope

Clothes on the floor: nope...just folded it all

Surfboard: i live in Indiana...what would i do with a surfboard?

Plants: nope...if i did they'd all be dead

Smoke detector: no...i only have one next to the kitchen...and even that is unplugged, yes...i like to live dangerously

Piano/keyboard/Guitar/bass/drums: no musical instruments of any kind

Locking door: i think it locks...i've never tried

Bottle of water: nope...but i recently had a glass in there

Blacklight: nope

medals/ribbons: College Diploma and my tassle from my college cap.

Awards: see above?

CDs: those are all in the car

Flag: no flags anywhere

Stop sign/any sign: nope

Paintball/Airsoft gun: nope

Real Gun: not yet

Cigarettes: non smoker!

Pot: as in for plants? No.

Any drug: that's what a medicin cabinet is for

Alcohol: nope...tequila is kept in the freezer

Books: my book goes between the living room and bedroom, right now it's Eragon

Nintendo: nope

Xbox: nope, but i would like a play station

stereo: living room

Television: see above

Lighter: dining room

Gum: nope

how many windows do you have in your room: 1

What is the color of your walls: white

Do you get ready for the day in your room or the bathroom? bathroom

What color are your bed sheets: cream, i'm so boring!

How long have you been in that room: 2 years, i'll be moving soon though! yeah!!

What's on your walls: diploma, mirror, calendar, shadow box with fairies, butterfly design and corresponding japanese letters to match (Love and Happiness)

Has the opposite sex been in your room before: yes

2007-01-06T18:06:00.000-05:00

It's official. The flu sucks. At least the nausea has gone away...but now i've got these cold chills and then hot flashes. Gawd! And it sucks having to take care of yourself. I wish my momma were here. Did i ever mention that i get real whiney when i'm sick? Oh...and the only thing i had any energy for today was a shower...and about half way through i realized if i didn't hurry up, i was gonna fall asleep in the shower. Suck. Alright...done whining.

2007-01-05T17:02:00.000-05:00

Survey b/c i feel icky.

FINISH THE SENTENCES.

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss...
was with a man who is WAY too old for me. And it really freaked me out.

2. I am listening to...
Gilmore Girls and my snoring dog.

3. I talk...
loudly about politics

4. I love...
reading books

5. My best friend...
is doped up on pain meds right now. The other one is my devil.

6. My first real kiss...
was sloppy and moderately disgusting.

8. I hate it when people ask....
"Why aren't you married yet?" or "You mean you haven't found yourself a nice man yet?"

9. Love is...
something i haven't experienced in 2 years, so it's hard for me to remember.

10. Marriage is...
something i find utterly terrifying.

11. Somewhere, someone is thinking...
i need a drink.

12. I'll always...
do great things.

13. I have a secret crush...
on Hugh Jackman. But i'm pretty sure it's no secret.

14. The last time I cried was because...
of a boy. Surprise.

15. My cell phone is:
in desparate need of a new battery.

16. When I wake up in the morning...
i hit the snooze twice.

17. Before I go to bed I...
read a few pages from my book.

18. Right now I am thinking about..
how can i still have a headache after sleeping for 4 hours and 2 ibuprofen?

19. Babies are...
overtaking my life. Everyone i know is pregnant.

20. I get on Myspace...
in hopes that Michelle has posted a new blog.

21. Today I...
think i have either the flu in conjunction with a bad headache, or a migraine.

22. Tonight I will...
be laying on the couch reading a book.

23. Tomorrow I will be...
cleaning, grocery shopping, and watching grey's anatomy.

24. I really want to be...
feeling better. I don't like being sick b/c i get whiney.

2007-01-03T21:10:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since i posted. It was difficult to get any time away during vacation. 15 Currys in one house doesn't lend well to privacy. But i did get to see Hayley!! That was great! We went to a bar and played trivia...and totally kicked local ass, at least on one game.

I drove back on the 30th and Jackie came up. We went shopping that day, and i finally convinced Jackie that Fort Wayne has an unusually high number of ugly people. I have discussed this phenomenom before and i don't think anyone believed me. Well now finally someone does. She was amazed at the fact that there weren't any hot guys at the mall...and none at the bar we went to either. So now she's started to refer to people as "Fort Wayne hot" which means that you would consider sleeping with this guy with the lights on. Geesh. We went to Columbia Street West. There was a really great band playing there and the lead singer was pretty cute. After they finished playing we talked briefly...and he said i was hot. He wanted me to look him up on myspace. So i came home (in a drunken stupor i might add) and looked him up. Dude...he totally has a girlfriend. That is so shady.

On the way home we took a cab. The cab driver drove us around the block a few times trying to charge us more money. When i realized what was going on i said something to him. I was drunk...so i was probably a little snickety. Well...the next thing i know he starts screaming at me! Then he threatens to drop us off in the middle of a park at 3:00 AM. Talk about scary. Well...jackie calms me down (b/c at this point i'm yelling back) and the driver down and we finally get home. But not after he ripped us off for a few bucks.

Next weekend i'm going to Indy to apartment hunt. I have two picked out, and unless one of them is just in a terrible neighborhood, I'm pretty sure which one i want to move to. That's about all that's going on here. Things are going to get pretty busy with the move, but I'll try and keep you all up to date.

Oh...for those who are curious how old OB Al is...he is 44. The same age as my mom. Scary.

2006-12-20T17:29:00.000-05:00

Sorry it's been a while since i posted. i haven't had too much to write about.

I went on two dates with the older man. Jackie has affectionately named him Old Balls Al, or OB Al for short. Yes...i know my friends are cruel...and that's why i love them.

He's a good conversationalist and very interesting...but in the end...it's just too weird. It's like going on a date with my dad. only there's the pressure for physical intimacy afterwards. Weird. Anyway that's pretty much been the extent of my life thus far.

I'm leaving for vacation on Friday and i'll be in SC until the 30th. An entire week with the Currys. Hooray. Note the lack of enthusiasm in my punctuation. I do get to see Hayley which makes me happy. I'll be back in time to celebrate the new year with Jackie. Woohoo!!!

I've been ridiculously tired lately...i definitely need a vacation i think.

2006-12-09T18:33:00.000-05:00

Breaking Benjamin is touring with Nickelback and Three Days Grace. While i'm not a big fan of Nickelback...i AM a fan of Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace. They are going to be in Chicago on March 2nd. I'm going to be in Mexico until March 4th. I would say it's a bummer...but...then again...the reason i can't be there is b/c i'm in Mexico. Today was a good day. I didn't do anything except work out. I've spent the rest of the day sitting on my ass watching Christmas movies. The good ones. The ones with the Claymation. I especially like the movie "The Year Without A Santa Claus" because i like the song the Heat Miser sings.

I'm Mr. Green Christmas, I'm Mr. Sun
I'm Mr. Heat Blister, I'm Mr. 101
They call me Heat Miser what ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!

I never want to see a day
that's under 60 degrees
I'd rather have 80, 90, 100 degrees
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it really hot!

That's my kind of Christmas!

2006-12-08T18:15:00.000-05:00

I have never hated anyone in my life. In my entire life...all 24 years, i have never met someone so incredibly passive-aggressive, so hateful, so full of ugliness. I just don't know how to handle it. This is such a difficult thing for me to manage. I have done all i can and i just am out of ideas. I cry at least once a week usually about this. And quite frankly i've just grown tired. I'm terrified that no matter where i go, things will be the same. It will always be someone else trying to hurt me. Someone please reassure me that things are going to get better. That i will not always feel like this. Please...anyone. And i need it to be sincere.

2006-12-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days when you are hungry...but too lazy to eat? Yeah...that's been me pretty much all week. I'm seriously debating not eating tonight at all. But then i just remembered that i'm really hungry.

2006-12-05T16:51:00.000-05:00

Fashion tip for the day:

If any of your socks are showing when you stand up...that means your pants are too short. Also...clogs look especially bad when your pants down cover them completely. So please...for the sake of those with sensitive fashion sense, do us all a favor, and buy longer pants. Here's a hint...if you bought them when you were in the 6th grade...they are probably too short!

PS. Muffin tops don't look good on anyone...not even super models (assuming they'd actually have them). If you don't know what a muffin top is...then you are beyond hope.

2006-12-02T17:06:00.000-05:00

As cheerful of a person as I am normally, you would think that I would love Christmas. But in fact...the opposite is true. Christmas is really one of my least favorite holidays. Why you may ask? Let's review the facts.

But Audra! Don't you enjoy the spirit of giving?! Seeing people's faces light up when you give them a gift?

Well, while i do enjoy seeing people be happy when I give them a gift they really love, I hate the obsessing over what to get people. I spend hours upon hours debating what someone might like. And i worry that they won't like it...or that they are just pretending to like my gift.

Well surely, you at least love getting gifts? I mean...who doesn't like getting free stuff?

Of course i love getting free stuff! Why wouldn't i? But here's the problem...how often have YOU gotten a gift that you didn't like and had to fake it? Yeah...i don't like that. Because there's always that one crazy aunt who gives you a pink fuzzy bunny outfit, and you have to wear it around the house for one humiliating day because if you don't...your aunt will never speak to you again.

But all the beautiful lights and decorations! People humming Christmas carols! What could be better?

How about all those people staying at home and humming to themselves? Yeah...that would definitely be better. Decorations are cool and all, if people would take them down in a timely fashion!

The only goood thing about Christmas, is the food and spending time with people you love...or at least kinda like. But guess what...i can do all that at Thanksgiving...without all the Christmas hype!

I'm a perfect candidate for one of those cheesy Christmas movie. All i need is a crippled boy and some ghosts and I'll be a regular holiday classic.

Bah Humbug!

2006-11-26T17:15:00.000-05:00

A woman on a rascal (the motorize scooters) was riding in of the road, going the wrong way. Have you ever noticed that people who drive motorized scooters act like they can run all over us walking people? It's like because they can't walk...we owe it to them to get out of their way. In the grocery store, you get those old biddies who just run you right over. They ride down the middle of the road and just expect your car to get out of the way. Grr!!! I should have run her over! Drive on the damn sidewalk! Or if you must drive down the road...at least go with the flow of traffic!

2006-11-25T18:20:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving was good. It's funny how you get used to doing a holiday a certain way though. But it was great to spend it with people who love me. And i had a wonderful birthday party too! We ate my favorite dinner (pinto beans and cornbread) and we had carrot cake. I got lots of great presents too! I went shopping on Friday with Dianna's mom and her sister. I bought a magic bullet...but don't tell my mom because i think she might have bought me one for Christmas. But they were on sale, so i bought one, and if my mom did buy me one, i'll just take it back!

So my neighbors have their entire family here for the holiday weekend. Both sets of family. In a one bedroom apartment. We're talking, two sets of parents, two grown sisters, and 5 children, on top of the two people who already live there. That's 13 people in a one bedroom apartment. 750 square feet! Geez! I would go stir crazy over there. They keep running up and down the stairs too and it's driving me nuts. Not to mention there's a very odd odor coming from across the hall. Yikes!

2006-11-21T18:17:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday...and honestly i spent most of it feeling a little melancholy. This is the first birthday I haven't spent with my family. This is also the first Thanksgiving I haven't spent with my family. My mom and dad are moving into a new house that I will never live in. My mom is also having surgery...and I can't be there. Suddenly today i got very homesick. I feel like I'm missing everything...the good and the bad. It only convinces me that I really should move closer to home in the nearish future (by nearish i mean 2 years). Sarah and I are going out to dinner tonight at a new restaurant called Antigua. Should be fun. :-)

Also...i took Columbo to the vet for his tail. It seems to be set already...so all I can do is wait at this point. As long as the tissue doesn't die....it should heal on its own. He is on some anti-anflammitories for a week.

So i went to dinner and the food was great. I also got Grey's Anatomy Season 1 (YEAH!!!!) and hobo gloves! I'm so excited. For those of you who don't know what hobo gloves are...they are gloves that have the tops of the fingers cut off, but there's a mitten flap that folds over to cover your fingers. Difficult to explain...but they are totally cool! I'm so excited! :-D

Tomorrow I'm going to Terre Haute to spend the holidays with the Artigues. It should be great. We're having pinto beans and cornbread with fried potatoes and ice cream cake for my birthday. Hooray!!

PS. Fashion tip for the day....Black and Brown NEVER look good together contrary to what the current fashion trend is, and you shouldn't wear horizontal stripes if you are the size of a hippotamus.

2006-11-19T15:58:00.000-05:00

I think columbo has broken his tail. It's bent at the end and swollen, and he yelps when i touch it. We're going to the Vet on Tuesday. Happy Birthday to me! I think he'll be fine, the brief internet search i did says that broken tails heal on their own. It may be dislocated though, in which case he will need to have it fixed. So my dog may have a splint on his tail by Tuesday. My poor puppy! Right in time for the holidays! Geez! Details to come as i get them.

2006-11-17T17:00:00.000-05:00

As you all may have gathered from my previous posts...I've been thinking about some stuff i couldn't publically announce. If you missed that somehow...you clearly have not been reading my posts. Anyway...now I'm ready to talk about what's going on.

I have decided to transfer to Indianapolis.

I will be doing the same job...same pay...just a different lab. I'll be starting in February. This was a pretty tough decision to make because there are advantages and disadvantages to this move. Overall though the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

I didn't want to discuss this before because I wanted to keep it under wraps until it became official. As of today, it became official. I'm pretty excited about the decision, but a part of me is a little sad that I'll be leaving my friend Sarah and my church. But...Dianna and Jackie will be there. It will be February before you know it though. With the holidays coming up February will sneak up on me in no time.

I am a little nervous about this move though.

I'm a creature of habit. I just adjusted to a certain routine, and that's the way I like things. In Indy, the chemists do things a little different. While I'm moderately flexible, I'm afraid the adjustment in my analysis procedure will be a little rough. Also, moving is a major ordeal to me, once again being the creature of habit that i am.

Sometimes I wish i could be more flexible, but it's the scientist in me that prevents that. The routine allows me to be very meticulous with everything else.

However...I'm hopefully that the uprooting will be worth it. I'll be working in a brand new lab, and I'll have my own cubicle. You can't beat that. Also, there will be more single, professional men. I'm hoping to have better dates than what i've been getting here in Fort Wayne.

2006-11-14T09:21:00.000-05:00

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for the summary of my weekend. So here it is!

Thursday was the concert with Nick. I felt a little old around all those 16 yr old Emo kids. But the music was good and so was the company. The evolution of Emo still is a little mysterious for me. What ever happened to your everyday run of the mill goths?? At least they didn't wear skinny pants and have bad haircuts! I slept in Terre Haute that night at the Tri Delta house.

Friday i went and hung around Rose-Hulman for a few hours. Met up with a few old professors. It was a really good time. I had lunch with Momma Artigue and that was really nice. I get to see her again over Thanksgiving. Then i drove to St. Louis. I met up with Josh and we settled into our room first. Then we went out with his friends for dinner and drinks. Over all a great night!

Saturday we slept late and went to the Arch. We got to go up in the Arch and that was pretty cool. The elevator ride was a little scary. We were crammed into this little elevator that was shaped like an egg. You had to hunch over when you sat down and your knees were touching the other people in the elevator. But it was worth the ride to the top, cause it was pretty cool up there. Then we went to the Science Museum. That was pretty cool. :-) We played with all the cool science stuff. We went back and took a nap. We tried to watch a movie, but the one we wanted to see wasn't playing for a long time. So then we were going to try PF. Chang's for Martinis. But they were ridiculously busy. So we went to Bahama Breeze instead. Had a drink. Went back and slept.

I left on Sunday to go back to Fort Wayne. I stopped in Terre Haute on my way, and finally got back to Fort Wayne around 9:30.

Overall it was a great weekend. Fake Brett is a really nice guy, it's just a shame he lives so far away.

PS. No real Brett in sight. Disaster avoided. Whew!

2006-11-09T12:28:00.000-05:00

Going to a concert with Nick tonight and then off to see Fake Brett in St. Louis for the weekend. I'll be back on Sunday and will surely write of my weekend hijinks. Hopefully they don't involve running into the real Brett.

PS. A halloween pic to leave you with

2006-11-08T15:57:00.000-05:00

You know...some people just can't take a joke. They can josh you all they want, but the instant you crack a joke in return they get all shitty about it. Hello!! Grow up folks! *sigh* Sometimes...things just don't go my way. I'm ready to get out of here for a weekend. Maybe a few days away with someone who likes me will make me feel better.

2006-11-07T16:11:00.000-05:00

This looks like fun!

Answers are only in song titles

Pick an artist: Fiona Apple

1. are you a male or female: The Child is Gone

2. describe yourself: Extraordinary Machine

3. how do you feel about yourself: Love Ridden

4. describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Parting Gift

5. describe your current boy/girl situation: Not About Love

6. describe your current location: The Way Things Are

7. describe where you want to be: Sleep to Dream

8. your best friend is: Better Version of Me

9. your favorite color is: Red, Red, Red

10. you know that it's: A Mistake

11. whats the weather like: Pale September

12. if your life was a television show what would it be called?: Criminal

13. what is life to you: Fast As You Can

14. what is the best advice you have to give: Sleep to Dream

15. if you could change your name what would you change it to: Tymps

2006-11-06T18:05:00.000-05:00

1. What is your best friend's grandma's name?
no idea

2. Where is the weirdest place you have a mole?
um...i only have one on my left shoulder blade. It's more of a birthmark though. Or so my mom says.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
Definitely Mr. White.

4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
when i was like 13

5. What body part do you wash first?
hair

6. Do you hover over the toilet in public bathrooms?
Always

7. What's the strangest talent you have?
I can move my big toe independently of the rest of my toes

8. Do you have an innie or an outtie?
innie

9. What's your favorite flavored pringle?
sour cream and onion

10. Have you ever been tied up? Do you want to be?
a little personal don't you think?

11. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for?
i left my clothes in the laundry room after my dad told me to take them to my room

12. Do you parallel park or drive around the block?
I can parallel park like a mo fo. Maybe that should be my weird talent!

13. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
nope. But i have had two dates in one weekend.

14. How many times have you been cussed out?
never

15. Which shoe do you put on first?
i don't know.

16. In one word, describe your butt.
squishy?

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
yup

18. Girls: Out of Madonna, Aunt Bee, Oprah Winfrey, and Paris Hilton, who are you most like? Guys: Choose between Dr. Phil, Larry the Cable Guy, Barney Fife, and Billy Bob Thorton.
I'm not really like any of them. But maybe Oprah? Minus being black. And living in Chicago. And having a fortune. And a make up artist. So really...i'm not like Oprah at all!

19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
Incapable of an emotional commitment

20. did you ever french kiss before you where 16?
yup

21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
no

22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
um...no one. Columbo?

23. Have you ever had a poem written about you?
yeah. It was terrible and wonderful all at the same time.

24. You're in a public bathroom and there's no toilet paper. What do you do?
ask the person next to you to help you out.

25. Have you ever found anything in your parent's bedroom that was questionable?
Condoms. I was scarred for life after that.

26. What was your childhood nickname?
Punk. My daddy still calls me that.

27. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
Probably last week at work

28. Have you ever peeked into the opposite sex's locker room?
i can hardly stand the stench in there, so no.

29. What's the weirdest thing you've done while driving?
Changed clothes

30. Have you ever bitten your toenails?
no. But i used to be a notorious fingernail biter.

31. How do you eat your cookies?
Oreos: twist and put two cremes together. Dip in milk until soggy.

32. When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt?
nope. But i do wear a wrist brace on my right hand. I have some problems without it.

33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of anyone.
uh...dance naked?

34. Girls: Do you shave your toes? Guys: Do you shave your chest?
can't say that i do

35. Have you ever played doctor and nurse or a similar game?
No. But i played one on TV. Or more accurately on a stage.

36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
not many. 4 beers will get me buzzing.

37. Have you ever sniffed an animal's butt? What kind?
what kind of quiz is this?

38. How often do you clean out your ears?
every day

39. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper?
fold

40. About how many times a day do you pick a wedgie?
i dunno. I've never counted. Whenever i get the urge

42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
i'm sure i did as a child.

43. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar or a party?
flashed a group of guys to win a contest

44. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted?
nope

45. Have you ever called your love interest by an ex's name?
yeah

46.Have you ever gotten caught farting while on a date?
lol no. But that would be pretty embarrassing!

47. Have you ever played naked twister?
sadly no!

48. Have you ever been drunk at work?
no. That is seriously against policy

49. Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister or roomate more attractive?
no

50. Do you want to bring sexy back?
sure thing. As long as i get Justin Timberlake in the process

2006-11-06T17:55:00.000-05:00

Everything is coming to a head right now. I'm still not ready to discuss what's been going on publically yet, but perhaps soon. So instead i'll entertain you guys with some quizzes.

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
My butt. To make sure it doesn't look fat in my "Juicy" sweatpants ;-)

2. How much cash do you have on you?
$15

3. Favorite plant?
Pink gerbera daisies

4. What color are your underwear today?
blue

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Josh

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
Jazz

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Red blouse with a matching red camisole

8. What do you "label" yourself?
Uh...passionate

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
No shoes

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright rooms always unless i want to go to sleep

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
She's a pretty cool gal!

12. Do you know what an 8-track is?
yes. I used to have an 8-track player

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
definitely sleeping

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
You too, princess!

15. Do you ever click on Pop-ups or banners?
nope

16. What's a saying that you say a lot?
Seriously

17. Who told you they loved you last?
hmmm....Dianna?

18. Last furry thing you touched?
my puppy

19. How many hours a week do you work?
37.5 (and that is considered a full time job for me...hehehe aren't you jealous!)

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
none, i'm all digital baby

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
um...21 was pretty good

22. Your worst enemy(ies)?
She shall remain nameless. But there is one.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Columbo in a blue shirt

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Bye mom.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what would you pick?
Take the money! Wealth makes you incapable of regret because you can just buy people off. :-) And you only regret when you know you could get caught.

2006-11-03T18:02:00.000-05:00

Something for your political enjoyment.

My personal favorite is the Kinky Freidman action figure. hehehe.

"I'm running for Governor, not God!"

I would vote for him just because of his commercial. Maybe not.

Today was an okay day. I've had better. I've had worse though too. Tomorrow is another day.

2006-11-02T15:56:00.000-05:00

Wow...this week couldn't possibly get any worse.

Monday...meeting from hell
Tuesday...the only uneventful day
Wednesday...court disaster
Thursday...mercury spill

I'm afraid of what is going to happen tomorrow. Can i just stay in bed? At least it's Friday.

Editor's Note: Mom=no help...i call for sympathy, and all i get is "do you think this yellow will match my kitchen?"

2006-11-01T12:39:00.000-05:00

This week has been incredibly busy and stressful. It's only Wednesday. But at least i got paid today. After having a long confrontation at work on Monday...i have kinda holed up. Lately I've had some heavy stuff on my mind, of which I am not ready to discuss in a public forum. Don't be surprised if i seem distracted these days. I'm incredibly exhausted both mentally and physically at the moment, but I'll have the weekend to recover.

Yesterday was Halloween. I have pictures of me in my costume. I'll post them up soon.

Yes Hay...i am alive...just barely.

2006-10-29T13:44:00.000-05:00

In Lima, OH there is an ordinance for Halloween.

On Saturday, for two hours all registered sex offenders are required to be "rounded up". If they don't show up to the designated location they get arrested.

I have no sympathy for sex offenders, especially those who have committed crimes against children. If i was not a rational human being, i would want those people tortured. I think there is no crime worse than sexual crimes against children, because it perpetuates a cycle in society. Although physical damage may not remain, the psychological damage is immeasurable. It takes people their whole lives to recover, and many never recover.

I will be honest though, this ordinance bothers me. I understand you want to protect children from these criminals. However...i almost feel it is a violation of their rights. While convicted felons...they are still Americans with (limited) rights. And where is the responsibility of the parent anyway? If you locked up every person who has the potential to harm children on Halloween night, you would need to lock up everyone. And then trick-or-treating would be finished. What ever happened to parents monitoring their own children. I think it is wrong to expect your local government to violate the rights of people just because you don't want to watch them.

Contrary to my opinion stated above, i do have mixed feelings. I understand the desire to keep these people away from your children, but at some point there must be some kind of personal responsibility.

2006-10-26T20:05:00.000-04:00

Since i was 14 years old, I have been a serial monogomist. I dated Joey, and then i dated Matt. During my break ups with Matt, i dated Ryan and David. Then i went to college. I dated Brian for two and a half years. During the last 6 months of said relationship, i had guys on the side (yes i know...totally shady...but i was 20!). Right after Brian and i broke up, I started dating Brett. We dated for a year and a half. Since we've broken up, I haven't really had a long term relationship. In the last year and a half since we broke up, i have only spent six months of that dating someone. Three different guys no less. I spent 2 months with each of them. So i think it is safe to say I am no longer a serial monogomist. YEAH!!! So what does that make me now? A serial dater? A serial short term dater? A regular human being?

2006-10-25T18:14:00.000-04:00

Today was the unit meeting in Indy. On the way down i was forced to listen to conservative talk radio. While listening to said talk radio, I heard an interview with Mark Souder who is the incumbent in Congress. He is running against Dr. Tom Hayhurst. At the end of Souder's interview, he said "We are engaged in a battle for the soul of America." Now, I would just like the say, I don't want the Government going anywhere NEAR my soul. Why in the world would i want the most corrupt, morally inept people in this country to battle for my soul? Yes...the morals of this country are probably not what they should be, but i just don't think that the pedophiles, adulterers, embezzlers, and former drug addicts are really the people to be telling me what is moral or not. Souder is a Republican, so I wouldn't vote for him. But after that statement, I'm sure not going to vote for him. Also while listening to this horrible talk radio, i heard a comment from Rush Limbaugh (Satan incarnate i'm sure) about Michael J. Fox. He was talking about the campaign ad in which Michael J Fox is support a Missouri Senator, b/c the other one running doesn't support stem cell research. Well...Limbaugh insists that Michael J Fox is faking his symptoms. He said he was shaking all over the place, but that clearly that was an act because "When i've seen him on Boston Legal, he's fine". HELLO!!! It's a TV show. Of course they are going to edit all that out. And if you knew anything about the taping of Boston Legal, you would know they went through extreme measures to tape when Michael was having a good day. Clearly Rush did not see him the day he spoke to Congress...because I'm pretty sure it broke my heart to watch a young talented man such as himself shake like a '85 truck going 80 miles an hour. Although Rush did apologize later on, still. There are just somethings you don't talk about. People's debilitating illnesses being one of them. So thank you Rush for proving once again that you are in fact an ass.

2006-10-23T20:02:00.000-04:00

I went to Kelly's wedding last weekend in Wisconsin. I got to see Jackie! Yeah!!! That always makes for a good time.

So a recap of the weekend:

Friday-drive to Wisconsin. Horrible. I got stuck in traffic in Merrillville, Schereville, and Chicago Heights. Blah. But i finally made it. Jackie and i ate at a local brewery and we got a 6 pack at the liquor store across the street. We spent the evening drinking beer and being silly with a shower cap. Don't ask. :-)

Saturday/Sunday-lounging around, Panera, Target. Then we went back and got ready for the wedding. The wedding was absolutely beautiful, and the reception was really nice too. I met a hot grooms man. ;-) The evening was spent dancing, drinking, and just general merriment with Jackie. After the wedding a few of us went out to the bar and drank some more. Eventually we made it back to the hotel room, I slept about an hour and a half and then i had to take Jackie to the airport. Talk about suck! I went back to the hotel, slept for another 45 minutes or so, and then I took Sarah to the airport. Then i went back, showered, and drove the 6 hours back to Fort Wayne. Even though I was exhausted, the trip back went much quicker.

In (un)related news, I'm meeting "Fake Brett" (as Jackie calls him) in St. Louis for a weekend in 3 weeks. I'm finally going to go up into the Arch, and see St. Louis. Hayley thinks this has the makings of a movie plot. I'm meeting a guy who looks like Brett in St. Louis, where Brett lives. Though the chances of running in to him are incredibly slim, the chance for irony there is just so great, there's a good possiblity this could happen. Y'all all will just have to stay tuned to find out.

Nothing overly exciting is coming up in the next couple of weeks. Halloween will be happening soon, and I'm gonna be a red hat lady, complete with purple suit, red hat, and gray hair. I'll post pictures.

2006-10-19T17:24:00.000-04:00

The topic of discussion today is older men.

Is it appropriate for a woman my age, almost 24, to date someone who is 44?

Normally i would totally say no. What could someone who is 44 and someone who is 24 possibly have in common than the obvious desire to have sex together?

However...the reasons why i would not date someone as old as my father are thus:

1. I can't imagine a relationship developing between two people so different in age
2. I want a family, but not for several years. At the age of 44, you're pushing the waiting envelope
3. i don't generally find older men attractive.
4. It seems wrong, b/c society tells me it's wrong.

But...here's where my arguments fall down.

1. I'm not looking for a relationship with anyone at the moment, so why does it matter if i can't see a relationship developing?
2. I'm not going to start a family with someone i don't want a relationship with, so once again, why does it matter?
3. There are exceptions to every rule
4. Who gives a shit about society

I would like to get a little feedback on this. See what my faithful blog readers think. :-)

2006-10-18T21:15:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Tonight i went out for margaritas with some folks from my bible study group. It was a lot of fun. :-)

However...today, a very odd feeling came over me. I want to have kids. It's really kind of scary. I think i realized what people mean by the ticking biological clock. Yes, i'm not quite 24 yet, so I am in no position, nor do i really desire, to have children at this point in my life. But today i actually felt like i wanted to have children. Normally i say that i want to have children b/c that's what people who are my age say. I assume that in several years i would actually want children. I've never actually felt the need to procreate before though. Today i felt that need. It was quite frightening. It passed just as quickly as it came, but the impression was quite lasting. Terrifying. That's what it is. Just down right terrifying! Bah!!! I'm becoming an adult. Someone save me!

2006-10-12T18:10:00.000-04:00

Okay...back from my nap and feeling more energized. So something very odd happened at the conference this week. I met someone who looks scarily like Brett. Not quite exactly his twin, but so close that when I first saw him I thought it was Brett. Initially this of course freaked me out, and i couldn't help but stare at this guy. Later I introduced myself and explained that he looked like someone I knew. Here's a Fiona Apple song I've been digging lately, and for Billy's entertainment I will share it.

Pale September
I wore the time like a dress that year
The autumn days swung soft around me like cotton on my skin
But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared
My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within

But then he rose, brilliant as the moon is full
And sank in the burrows of my keep
And all my armor falling down
in a pile at my feet
and my winter gave way to warmth
As i'm singing him to sleep

He goes along just as a water lily
Gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats
Unweighed down by passion or intensity
Yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts

And it finds a home in me
For what misfortune sows he knows my touch will reap
And all my armor falling down
in a pile at my feet
and my winter gave way to warmth
As i'm singing him to sleep

2006-10-12T15:12:00.000-04:00

I'm back baby! And more than in the physical sense. The conference was good, i met lots of interesting people and learned lots of neat stuff. Nothing really exciting to report. And yes, i did in fact look at that website you sent me hay. I like Julien Beever. I think his work is so cool. I just can't figure out how he does it. I would have more to write, but i'm pretty exhausted at the moment. Nap time!

2006-10-09T08:11:00.000-04:00

Slept better last night. I'm gonna be gone on a conference until Wednesday. Sarah killed me yesterday...my legs and butt hurt SO bad!! I haven't lifted weights in forever...so i'm really paying for it today. But all those lunges are good for you. Overall, i'm feeling a little better today...but not 100%. I think i'm going to need at least a week for that. But drowning myself in Fiona Apple yesterday always helps. And then on Friday i'll be drowning in alcohol...so that will definitely make it all better.

2006-10-08T17:39:00.000-04:00

A few excerpts from one of my (many) favorite Breaking Benjamin songs.

This will be all over soon
Pour salt into the open wound
Is it over yet? Let me in.
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left
I know that i can find the fire in your eyes
I'm going all the way, get away please.

You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You gotta fight just to make it through.
Cause i will be the death of you.

I'm waiting
I'm praying
Realize
Start hating

Didn't sleep very well last night. Most of the anger is gone. Sadly when anger leaves me, it leaves me depleted of all my energy...so now all i feel is melancholy. This too shall pass.

"When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, It is well. It is well with my soul."

2006-10-07T18:48:00.000-04:00

Well guys...i have officially rejoined the land of singles. The Paramedic informed me (via telephone) today that he has decided to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. I saw him on Thursday...and he didn't mention a thing. He called me yesterday to make sure we were still getting together tonight...and then he calls me again today for what i think is plan solidification, but instead drops the bomb that he is getting back together with the ex-girlfriend who crushed him. Way to go Paramedic. So i suppose I'm back on the market again. However...dating holds no appeal for me this time. I thought i did everything "right". You know...take things really slow...make sure you get to know the guy real well first. So much for that. I know in a few months i'll suddenly get the urge to start dating again...but to be quite honest...i'm getting a little tired of dating. Especially guys from Fort Wayne. At least I didn't invest much in this relationship though. It would seem I have learned my lesson from the other guys. Ah well...back to square one. Viva la single life.

2006-10-06T17:07:00.000-04:00

I'm not feeling any better than yesterday. I'm having the same thoughts I did yesterday. This has actually put me in a quite a funk. But the nap after work helped me feel a little better. But the funk is still there. Today on myspace i saw my ex boyfriend's site. I haven't seen him in 5 or so years. I think the last time was after my freshman year in college. Anyway...it was weird. He has a daughter in the first grade, and a son. And he's really into Star Wars. It seems like a life time ago when we dated. So much has changed. I've dated several other guys, and have had my heart broken. He's got kids. Weird. It's hard to imagine a time when we dated. But we did, for like 2 years. Just weird is all.

2006-10-05T18:48:00.000-04:00

I'm having some problems solidifying exactly what is bothering me at the moment. However...i can pin down what is causing these thoughts.

Today i had a good discussion with a friend at work about relationships. Namely, my inability to function normally in a relationship. Anyway...a thought struck me. It would appear that i set men up to fail. I push them away under the pretense of being honesty. While not a bad approach...i try to make it difficult for them to want a relationship with me. But then i get angry when they hold me at arms length or push me away. A line from a Fiona Apple song rings particularly true "I think he let me down when he didn't disappoint me."

So while i was considering all this i call my dad. My mom had her surgery today (she's fine). And my dad took today off, and just sat in the hospital waiting room until my mom got out of surgery. And then he sat around the hospital until they sent her home. He's also staying home all next week, not because my mom will need his help, the surgery is minor and she should be fine in a few days. No...he's staying home with my mom, because he knows my mom will not want to sit around. She'll get bored and she'll overdo it and then she'll end up being in pain a lot longer. Having a prestigious job will not keep me from being alone when I have to have surgery. Having a high power career will not guarantee that there will be someone there who knows me so well that he will take a week of work just to make sure i don't overdo things. Making more money will not make me feel less alone when i'm old.

I despise people who think money will make them happy. Brett was like that, and we argued about it all the time. I would tell him that money would not buy him happiness, and he needed to do what made him happy, and not what would make him money. I almost considered myself superior in a way, because I thought i was above that materialistic view. But i'm not. I'm materialistic in a different way. I don't care about the money, but I want the prestige. I want the recognition, I want to be "someone". While having a good career, and being known in my field would make me feel good...ultimately it wouldn't make me happy.

I'm not saying that I won't pursue my dreams of a good career. I am not compromising the beliefs that i hold. Today it just occured to me that perhaps i wasn't looking at the whole picture. For so long I've only focused on my career and where i planned to go with it. It's the only thing i can really control.

I'm not looking for advice. I know what all my faithful readers will say. Go forth with your career and consider nothing else (with the exception of hayley, she'll say relax and stop worrying). I just need to think out loud.

2006-10-05T13:05:00.000-04:00

I'm having some difficulty with my priorities. I'm not really sure that I have them straight. But i'm not sure that I don't have them straight either. More to follow later when i have the time.

I'm sorry I'm going to miss homecoming this year folks. Hopefully next year will be better for me. Have fun all of those who are going. Drink a few beers for me, and sing some karaoke at Rafter's. I wish i could be there.

So today i went to McDonald's for lunch (yes, i know, healthy). I pull up to the window you pay at, and the woman takes my card. As she's standing at the window, another employee leans out the window and says to me "I like your green car. It's very kewl!" And yes...it was pronounced kewl...and not cool. It was just bizarre. It's not like i drive a new car. It's a 2000 Honda Civic. And it has dents and scratches in the hood (from the ass that jumped on it over a year ago). While not a 1989 silver Pontiac Bonneville missing the side paneling b/c of an incident with a cement pole, it is also not a Lexus. I just thought it was interesting.

2006-10-03T21:59:00.000-04:00

Nothing really exciting has been happening the last few days. I got a 33% raise at work so party time!!! Everything else is going pretty good. I'll be going to Wisconsin in a few weeks to Kelly's wedding, and i'll get to see Jackie. Woohoo!! Drunken debauchery will ensue. Also, Breaking Benjamin will be in Dayton on Oct. 31!!!! I think maybe Dan and I are going. Which i have to tell you, i'm super excited! Breaking Benjamin! on Halloween!!! However, the question is...do you wear a costume to a concert on halloween?? Or is that considered concert taboo? All these deep questions to ponder. We're switching our computer database at work, so i've had a lot of time to contemplate such important questions. I finished all my work today, and i can't take anymore work out until our computer systems come back on line (which they are saying won't be until Thursday), so tomorrow will be pretty boring day at work.

2006-09-28T21:04:00.000-04:00

For the heck of it.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current street name)
Barney Brighton

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your middle name)
A Mal

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Manatee

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Malee Emporia

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden)
Curaube

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink(alcoholic or non alcoholic) put "The" in front of your answer)
The Pink Margharita

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first name of your grandfathers)
Tommy Howard (similar to Ricky Bobby)

9. FUTURISTIC NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne and the name of your favorite kind of shoes)
Lavender Steve Madden

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name )
Carol Wayne

2006-09-25T15:47:00.000-04:00

No worries...things on the dating front are fine. Just sometimes i need to remind myself to stick to my guns about all things in life. :-) Oh...and my mom always tells me I'm too picky...when i start believing her...i have to remind myself that being picky isn't bad. On Thursday the boss of the whole lab division is coming to the lab to discuss the proposed salary adjustments. There are lots of rumors going around about how much, when, and who are getting these adjustments, and now he's coming to put an end to the rumors. So this could potentially be a very good discussion, or a very bad discussion. Best case scenario, it's the 30% they promised us and we're getting it before the end of the year. Worst case scenario, we aren't getting any raise at all. So be crossing your fingers for me!

2006-09-24T22:06:00.000-04:00

Today i would like to say...that i deserve the very best. I deserve nothing less than what i want. I am smart, and i work hard for all the things i get. I may be picky, but i have earned the right to be so. I am not demanding, I am not unreasonable. I am not above compromise, but I will not give in on the things that are important. And if that makes me an unbending, cold-hearted bitch...then so be it. That is all.

2006-09-23T13:53:00.000-04:00

Today Columbo and I went down to Bluffton for the Weiner Dog Races at their annual Street Fair. Well....Columbo took 2nd place!! He was so fast!!! He would have taken 1st place, but the other dog he was racing against, their person threw a ball down the lane (to get the dog to run) and it distracted Columbo. He was in the lead until he saw the ball, and then he kinda stuttered a little. But that's okay! 2nd place is still great. We got a keychain and a ribbon. Columbo had a ball! He loved it. He was really nervous at first, but once he got done with his first race he was all pumped up and excited. Tonight I'm going to see The Lake House with Sarah at the dollar theater. Hopefully it's good. I like Sandra Bullock.

2006-09-22T12:54:00.000-04:00

I haven't been sleeping well i don't think. When my alarm went off at 6:30 to remind me it's time to go running, i woke up in a very odd state. When i opened my eyes, i was suddenly scared, cold and felt incredibly alone. It dawned on me that I haven't routinely slept in the same bed with someone in 2 years. That's when my bed felt remarkably large. It's amazing how that happens. I would like to believe these feelings were sparked by some sort of bad dream. Being as I'm notorious for bad dreams, i think that's a pretty good assumption. It probably didn't help that i read a scary book last night. I gotta cut that out!

Gotta get back to work. Thank God it's Friday.

Back from work, and i am now an official nerd. In fact...i should get the Nerd of the Week award. I wear a lab coat at work (duh..i'm a chemist). I have three pockets, two around my hips and one up on my chest. In the lower pockets I carry my fine permanent marker, my medium permanent marker, my spatula, and my evidence keys. In my breast pocket I carry a pen. The pocket by the way is on the inside of the coat. I decide to stop sampling evidence and put all my stuff away. Including my writing tools in their appropriate pockets. I go wash dishes in the sink, and 20 minutes later I walk to my desk. As i look down, I notice a HUGE ink stain on my lab coat. Yeah...me and my smartness, I forgot to put the cap back on my pen when i put it in my pocket. It's a good thing i get a new lab coat on Mondays! So now i need a pocket protector i think.

2006-09-17T15:21:00.000-04:00

I am in fact still alive. Nothing really exciting has been going on this week. Mostly just trying to feel better after being sick last week. I went bowling with Dan on Tuesday. I beat him 100 to 76. Yes...pathetic i know...but hey...i'm a scientist...not a pro bowler. So i've been thinking about my future career goals. In fact this seemed to be the theme of the week. So working for the DEA has been something i want to do; however, i'm not really excited about the location of any of the labs. There are only two that i would consider. Dallas, TX and possibly Chicago, IL. The only time i ever visited Chicago, i wasn't overly impressed. I've been told though that I'm not giving Chicago a fair shake. I went in January, and it was windy, cold and miserable. But i haven't really been back, nor have I spent any kind of time there. So perhaps I'll give Chicago another chance. Anyway...this thinking has made me wonder if the DEA is really the place for me. Here is a list of lab choices for me:

Largo, MD
NYC, NY
Suburb of DC, VA
Miami, FL
Dallas, TX
Vista, CA
San Francisco, CA

If i try to work for the FBI, i'll be in Quanitco, VA. Honestly, I don't particularly want to live in DC. Of all the places listed above (minus the two i said i would consider) DC would be 3rd on the list. If i'm not mistaken though, the Army has a lab in Atlanta. Atlanta i could totally do.

The point of this blog, is to realize a little contradiction with what i want from my career vs. what kind of environment i want to live in. So now the important question becomes, which is more important. A job with the Federal government or living in a city I would like.

Any suggestions from people who may be (or have been) in similar situations?

2006-09-11T16:37:00.000-04:00

I have not fully recovered from the bird flu, so i stayed home from work today. However...i still had to run down there at 7:30 this morning to get some evidence out of my locker b/c the trooper was coming to pick it up today b/c the case was going to court. Blah. Thank god only two people were there, b/c i looked like shit. No shower, glasses, sweatshirt, and hair in a pony tail. And let's not forget the red nose and incessant sniffling. It's torture to allow people to see me like that, but i just couldn't bring myself to shower just to be at work for 5 minutes.

Also, i've been thinking about getting my hair cut. Part of me wants to cut it really short. But i'm a little scared...i'll keep you updated on the hair cut search.

Dan update: Things are going really well. Nothing too exciting to report. We've both been really busy, so I haven't got to see him quite as much as I'd like. However...once a week is good for me.

My most recent reading was The Devil Wears Prada. Many of you may have seen the movie, and I have to say the book is quite different.

Perks of the book: Andy seems more realistic. She's very passive aggressive, and a foul mouth much like the average 23 year old. She doesn't sleep with Christian. The book also made me feel bad about my Gap clothes and Fossil watch. So i could really sympathize with Andy.

Perks of the movie: Miranda has some great one liners, and i'm your typical girl so i like the fact that at the end of the movie you believe that Andy and Alex will work things out. Also, Miranda has one redeeming moment when she is makeupless and upset over her husband leaving her. Yeah...that doesn't happen in the book.

I'd say that I like the book and the movie for totally different reasons. Up next A Million Little Pieces.

2006-09-10T19:48:00.000-04:00

Ugh! Allergies: you are my bane! Oh Friday I some how contracted the bird flu and have felt crappy ever since. Dianna came up yesterday morning, and we went shopping yesterday. Good fun! Then we were going to go to a country western bar for some line dancing. I ditch my heels in favor of boots, and my cute shirt for a western like tank top. And let's not forget the cowboy hat. So we go to the bar the Rock N' Horse, only to discover it's this shady looking bar with lots of old people. And then there's the drunk screaming on the landing, and it's only 11:00. So we decide to hit the Fort Wayne staple of Piere's. Dancing and a little drinking ensued and a good time was had by all. Today dianna and I had lunch at biaggi's, and we had the weirdest waiter ever. As I mentioned earlier, I'm having some allergy problems. Therefore, on occasion I need to clear my throat of all the phlegm that has accumulated in my throat. The waiter was at our table when I cleared my throat and he stares right at me and says "Was that for me?". I said "uh...no?" And he explained that sometimes people clear their throats to get his attention. Well...even if that was the case...isn't that a little rude of him to point it out to me? Then he goes on to tell us that when people snap at him, he just totally ignores them, and if they wave (to get his attention) he just waves back and goes back to doing what ever it was he was doing. Now...am I wrong in saying YOU'RE A WAITER!! It is your job to serve those who are at your table. While I do believe throat clearing and snapping are rude, it is still your job to provide those people with whatever they want. And this is biaggi's, not McDonald's. So get off your high horse and do some damn work. Needless to say, Dianna and I did not take to him very well at all. Some people amaze me in their apparent inability to completely miss the appropriateness of the moment.

PS. last night i cut up Brett's Triangle t-shirt, and I burned the poem he wrote me. It was incredibly cathartic, but not quite as much as the day he text messaged me, and I realized that i had no feelings left. Go me! For those curious, it has been almost 2 years since we officially broke up, and about a year and 9 months since i saw him last. The healing took a long time, but eventually it happened, and that's what matters.

2006-09-06T17:11:00.000-04:00

I'm back from Cali, and surprisingly awake. I thought for sure this morning would be hell after being on Pacific time for almost a week. But I switched back to Eastern amazingly quick! So a recap of my vacation.

Thursday: Flew to Cali and landed around lunch time. We had lunch, and then relaxed at her place until we went out to dinner with Amanda and Mark. Good beer and company, so overall a good night.

Friday: Vacaville outlet mall shopping and then a stop at the Roseville Mall. I bought five sweaters and a pair of couderoys from the Gap, a Fossil watch, and two pairs of Steve Madden shoes...all for $150. I also tried on the most amazing bra!! The Secret Embrace bra at Victoria's Secret. Amazing! We were going to go to the bars later that night, but we decided to relax instead and drank margaritas.

Saturday: Slept late, and had pedicures. Decided to go out to the bars, and had seriously bad bar karma. We first tried the Monkey Bar, and that was a bust. No music...what so ever. Blah! So instead we went to Harlow's instead. The live band played a (no joke) 20 minute rendition of Celebrate. Jackie and I had time to go to the bathroom, wait in the line, pee, wash our hands, leave the bathroom, walk across the bar, and still listen to the song for 5 minutes. Geez! So we left. Then we decided we needed some food. And what is better late night food than Taco Bell? Except all the taco bells in roseville close at 12:00. It was 12:30. Grr!! So we went to Wendy's instead. And two guys roll up behind us. One of them is screaming on his cell phone. F-this and F-that all over the damn place. Then his buddy kicks him out of the car (the screamer was the passenger) and this guy walks over to the bushes. Only he looks like he's cussing out the bush. Well...we get our food...and then as we leave I yell out the window "Dump the bitch!". And then Jackie drove away very fast before he could come after us. :-) By the way, this was totally Jackie's idea! ;-)

Sunday: we painted pottery for several hours. I'll get mine back when we go to Kelly's wedding in October. We were going to out to a bar, but the Powerhouse was having a blues jam session. I'm not really down with blues. So instead of trying our hand at more shitty bars, we bought some tequila and drank margaritas and watched Sex And the City. Definitely way more fun than a bar!

Monday: Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, and more Sex And The City. It doesn't get any better than that!

2006-08-27T14:58:00.000-04:00

Last night I went to see Snakes On A Plane. First, i have to say, I laughed my ass off. There is nothing funnier than watching a snake bite a guy's wenis. That's high quality humor there. It has everything you could want from a movie. Gratuitous nudity, completely outrageous death sequences, and Samuel L Jackson, does it get any better?

I finally finished reading The Fountainhead. I was disappointed by Ayn Rand's character development of Gail Wynand. In the beginning of the book he is this sleazy newspaper man who sells his soul to society and prints in his paper only what society wants to read. Which is of course smut, scandals, and the destruction of heros. However, you eventually discover the reason for this soul selling is b/c he doesn't find anything in the world worth living for. He is a driven intelligent man who is very similar to the main character (and hero of the story) Howard Roark. Upon meeting Roark and Dominique Francon he suddenly realizes there are things in life worth fighting for blah blah blah. So when Roark gets in trouble he uses his paper to come to his defense. He runs his newspaper into the ground fighting for what he believes in. Then, when he is finally given to choice to either retract everything he said, or close the paper he backs down and retracts everything. I really hate to see a character who seemed so promising suddenly collapse. Unlike the people in the story, i don't like seeing good men fall. Sadly, that's exactly what happened. In making this retraction, he also loses his sense of purpose, the only woman he ever loved, and his best friend. He also talked about how he was going to build the tallest skyscraper in New York as a tribute to his life. It would stand as a testament of all the things he had accomplished. At the end of the book, he still builds to tower, but instead he said he has nothing to build for, so Roark should build it as a testament to his own success.

How sad.

I'm heading out to California this week. I leave on Thursday morning, very early. I'm very excited!!!

2006-08-22T13:04:00.000-04:00

So i've decided on the football book. It seems to be the best way to go. I'll save Isaac Asimov for some other time. I saw the Paramedic on Sunday and we went and saw Talladega Nights. Hehehe. It was pretty funny. I like Will Ferrell. Also, I've decided to actually give a name to the Paramedic. But of course, this means that I actually like him, and may want him to stay around. With that being the case, it means i can't talk about him on a regular basis. It would seem that the bad date stories have been (temporarily at least) suspended. While I'm happy about having only good dates as of late, I know my faithful readers out there will be sad. So i'll be looking for another topic to obsess over. If you have any suggestions, just let me know.

So i have found the funniest thing ever. Seriously...EVER!

I'm sure everyone knows about this by now, but in case you didn't, now you'll know.

If you go to www.snakesonaplane.com and then go to "get a call from Samuel L. Jackson". Oh i almost peed on myself. I was going to have a call placed to my brother. But the bum isn't answering the phone. I'll be sure to get him later though. Seriously though, you should check this out.

PS. The Paramedic's name is Dan.

2006-08-17T12:55:00.000-04:00

I saw the Paramedic again last night. We went go-karting (and i kicked his ass). Then we went to the bookstore so i could "pick out a book for my trip to Cali" and then dinner.

Now...the reason to the quotations above is such. The Paramedic is having a birthday on Sept. 2nd. A mere month after we started dating. Suck. But he loves to read, so I figure if i could lure him into a book store I could perhaps find a book he may like for his birthday. Well, he seemed to enjoy a book about Notre Dame Football. However, he got really excited when he was looking for the newest Dean Koontz book in the Frankenstein series. Unfortunately, the third book is not out yet, and he's already read the second one. So then he expressed an interest in a short story he heard in high school about an angel written by Isaac Asimov.

This is where i need y'all's help. It is in a collection of short stories. The story involves an angel that crash lands into someones house. I googled Isaac Asimov, and the only thing i found close was an alien called Angel, an outcast for his/her planet, who meets up with a heamaphrodite.

Is anyone familiar with Isaac Asimov's work and any idea of what this story could be? I'm gonna try and prod him for more information to see if my thinking is correct.

If i can't figure it out, I suppose i'll just be getting the Notre Dame football book. Although honestly, i like to provide people with more thought provoking reading material.

2006-08-15T18:44:00.000-04:00

No...i'm definitely not married yet. And all you single men out there have no fear, I won't be getting married for a very long time.

Dinner went great! I didn't kill him with my cooking and he loved my blueberry cobbler so much that he took some home with him. And he wants to see me again. :-) So I'm seeing him again tomorrow (the reason for the lapse of time between dates is due to my brother's visit). I'm definitely looking forward to seeing him, but it's his turn to pick the activity. Secretly, I'm hoping he'll bring up his Harley and take me for a ride. :-) But i won't start dropping hints just yet.

2006-08-14T19:56:00.000-04:00

Whoa...watch out for this girl!

I think it's kinda cool she plays football. But it is definitely new that she plays offensive line. I tell you, at 5'9", 300 lbs, she probably gives those boys a run for their money.

So my bro was here last week. We went to Cedar Point on thursday. It was awesome!! We rode Millenium Force twice and Top Thrill Dragster once, on top of all the other rides there. When we got off Top Thrill Dragster, Christopher said he had never heard me scream like that before. He said he thought someone was murdering me and that I would have shattered glass. Hehehe

We also went and watched Lady In The Water. It was a pretty good movie. It didn't have the twist ending that is typical of M. Night Shamaylan, but it was still a good story none the less. That was pretty much my week.

2006-08-07T16:13:00.000-04:00

This survey looked fun and different from all the others. Also, i'm way nervous about tonight. I'm cooking dinner for the Paramedic. Date number 4. And they all say the way to a man's heart is through is stomach. Does this mean if i give him indigestion, heart break is inevitable.

1. Do you say, Hi, to people you dont know?
Often

4. Recite a line from a movie.
Mawiage. Mawiage is what bwings us togwewer todawy.

5. What movie was that from?
The Princess Bride.

6. Do you play by the rules?
yes, i'm a rule nut

7. Name another word for penis...
one eyed trouser snake

8. Do you complain a lot?
not usually

13. Name someone whose plastic surgery turned out poorly.
Hello!!! Michael Jackson!!!

17. Name a TV show or movie, that impacted society.
The Cosby Show. The first show about an African American family that was a success!

18. Name a song that has the word, baby, in it.
uh...Rock a bye baby

21. Name a profession you would NOT like to have.
Garbage Man or Dishwasher

22. Name someone you know, with red hair.
The Paramedic

24. Name something white.
The cover of the August Cosmopolitan

25. Are you better at explaining things, or at performing them?
probably a mix of both. i talk a lot, and gesture at the same time

26. Have you ever been to a boxing match?
nope, but i was at a concert last week where i was next to the mosh pit

28. Do you eat out, or buy groceries, more often?
Buy groceries

29. What month are many of your friends born in?
um...March?

30. If you could have been born a different ethnicity, which one
would you have chosen.
I would want to be a Spaniard.

31. Name another way to say, "Perfect."
Excellent

40. Name a type of dance.
The Hustle

41. Name a type of Martini.
Appletini

45. Name something purple.
One eyed one horned flying purple people eater

46. What is something good about getting older?
Grandkids

47. And something negative?
creeky bones

48. Name a song you really enjoy.
Ho by Ludacris (as in you'ze a ho!)

50. Name a bar or a restaurant that really impressed you.
A french restaurant in London. I can't remember the name.

2006-08-06T17:03:00.000-04:00

Sometimes having a dog is a burdern. As i went out my door to walk my dog, the neighbor kid (i think he's my neighbor's nephew or something) came busting out of the apartment, ran down the stairs and proceeded to pet my dog. I told him i needed to go, and then he just ran back up to the apartment. I don't like it when people sit in their apartment and wait for me to come home. It kinda freaks me out! Also, i don't like people touching my dog without my permission. But mostly people knowing my whereabouts distrubs me. I wish i could be invisible and silent when i come and go from my apartment.

2006-08-05T21:05:00.000-04:00

So this week i've had dates 2 and 3 with the Paramedic. Date 2 was pool. Let's just say, i am horrible at pool. I mean we're not talking black shirt and brown shoes horrible. We're talking fanny pack, runched socks, and crimped hair horrible. But that's okay, because i have no problem being humiliated. We had a great time and i did manage to beat him at 9's. But i think that's because he let me win. Date 3 was last night at the Olive Garden. He took me to dinner, we split a bottle of wine and had wonderful conversation. I'm supposed to see him next week. FYI, here's a revamped grading scale. I realized i never really defined what a grade meant, and so i wasn't consistent on grading. Not that i'm grading anymore...but in the event i decide to do so again.

A=I'm gonna marry this man
B=definite boyfriend potential
C=nice guy, i'd probably go out with him again
D=Can we just be friends?
F=Wow...i wouldn't even want to save you from a tank of hungry pirahnas

My brother is coming on Wednesday. We're going to Cedar Point on thursday. Needless to say, I'm very excited. I also went to the Breaking Benjamin concert. Let's just say...Ben Burnley totally rocked my socks off. I've decided that i'm going to abandon my dreams of being a forensic scientist and run away to be a rock star's wife.

So i did the dumbest thing the other day. I was getting ready for the concert, and decided to curl my hair. Only i wasn't paying all that great attention, and somehow i managed to burn my chin. We're not talking small red mark. We're talking a one inch line on my jaw line. Doh!

2006-07-29T12:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, although i'm not grading my dates anymore due to some karmic balance, i still have to keep my faithful readers updated on the goings on of my pitiful and amusing dating life.

Last saturday i went out with The Linebacker. Rose grad from 99 who used to play football. He suggested that we meet at a local bar for drinks. No problem. When i walked in though, he didn't stand up which defintely loses points. Except when i get there, he has ordered a Pepsi. I asked him if he drinks and he said not really. So why suggest a bar??? Who knows. I get a beer anyway. Other than that things were fine, but i just didn't quite feel the vibe. It was a nice evening out of the house though.

Fastforward to last night. I went out the the Paramedic. Irish Catholic red head who likes roller coasters, romantic comedies, and would never wear black and brown. Quite possibly the perfect man. We went out for ice cream last night. And in true avoiding karmic fashion, i am going to avoid comment on this date. Let's just say, it was good and we're going out again sometime next week. Maybe this guy will actually get his real name on my blog instead of his code name. But for now, he'll still be known as the Paramedic.

2006-07-25T18:46:00.000-04:00

Read this article

In summary, a homeless man found $21,000 in savings bonds in a trash can and turned them over so the man who owned them could get them back. The community gave him $4,000 for his good deed. But...why would the community give him money you may ask?? Because the tight ass that owned the bonds only gave the homeless man $100! Wow...can we say cheap skate?? $100 on $21,000 worth of bonds that got thrown away! I'm really kind of disgusted. I suppose it's better than the guy not giving anything at all. But it almost seems like this guy gave him $100 as an obligatory gesture because he knew people would hate on him if he didn't. Well...honestly...this guy felt obligated...i would much rather he didn't give anything at all. It's called an act of gratitude, not an act of burden.

2006-07-24T16:49:00.000-04:00

So i had to have an x-ray on my hand and i have to get steroid patches. Yeah. Hopefully it'll heal on its own, whatever the problem is.

Also, i'm kinda freaked out by this whole sniper thing. Rest assured, I will not be traveling I-69 for a while, at least until all these attacks are done.

2006-07-20T22:05:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted a useless survey in a while. And you never know, something may have changed in the last few weeks. So...for your mindless consumption:

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
open

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
nope

3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
yeah

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
can't say that i have

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
they are the only things that keep me organized at work

6. Do you cut out coupons and not use them?
no

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
I'm going to go with the bees on this one

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
yeah

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who complain all the time

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
out

12. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
no

13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
yes

14. Do you ever jump up and down to make your privates bounce?
no that hurts

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
i used to, until i started working around drugs. It's bad to chew on pens that are covered in drugs.

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
does columbo (my dog) and manny (my stuffed manatee) count? If so...two men every night! Wow...i'm a studette!

17. Do you like popcorn from those big tins?
nah...it goes stale before i can finish it

18. What is your "Song of the week"?
Diary of Jane-Breaking Benjamin

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
I love men in Pink

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
I'm never up that early

21. Whats your favorite scary movie?
Arachnophobia

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
A pirate never reveals where she hides her booty

23. What drink do you have with dinner?
I'm boring...water

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in
i don't eat chicken nuggets, but if i did it would be ketchup

25. What is your favorite food/ cuisine?
Mexican

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Waking Ned Devine, Neverending Story, Princess Bride

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Jason...6 months ago...*sigh*

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
for about a year

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
doubt it. But everyone has their price

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Last wednesday

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
no, but i can check it!

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
yes X2

33. Ran out of gas?
nope

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
Mozarella and Portobello Panini from Panera

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
belgian waffles with blueberry compote

36. What is your usual bedtime?
10:30ish

37. Are you lazy?
no

38. When you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween?
I wasn't allowed to dress up for halloween

40. How many languages can you speak?
just english, but at least i speak it well, usually

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Cosmo

42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
legos all the way!

43. Are you stubborn?
definitely

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Letterman

45. Ever watch soap operas?
no

46. Afraid of height?
Depends

47. Sing in the car?
always

48. Dance in the shower?
i'd trip and fall

49. Dance in the car?
yeah

50. Ever used a gun?
yes

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Last Thursday for charity

52. Are musicals cheesy?
love 'em

53. Is Christmas stressful?
sometimes

54. Ever eat a pierogie?
nope

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
blueberry

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Marine Biologist

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
I don't disbelieve

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
yeah

59. Take a vitamin daily?
nope

60. Wear slippers?
yes

61. Wear a bath robe?
It's pink and has an "A" on it. My grandma made it for me!

62. What do you wear to bed?
Summertime=nothing Wintertime=everything

63. First concert?
Aerosmith

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
Meijer

65. Nike or Adidas?
New Balance

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
Doritos (geez...i'm picky)

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanuts

68. Ever hear of, "gorp"?
nope...is it something to do with Star Wars?

69. Ever take dance lessons?
unofficially yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
I love public servants i.e teachers, EMTs, Dr.s, Social Workers, police officers, firemen

71. Can you curl your tongue?
yeah

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
no

73 . Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Would you believe me if i said i was right now?

74. Own any record albums?
no, but i did

75. Own a record player?
no

76. Regularly burn incense?
gives me a headache

77. Ever been in love?
yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
Breaking Benjamin and Fiona Apple (again)

79. What was your last concert you saw?
Fiona Apple

80. Hot tea or cold tea?
both

81. Tea or coffee?
tea

82. Favorite kind of cookie?
no bake

83. Can you swim well?
yes

84. Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
yes

85. Are you patient?
hm...sometimes

86. DJ or band at a wedding?
DJ

87. Ever won a contest?
yes

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
yes

89. Green or black olives?
black

90. Can you knit or crochet?
crochet

91. Best room for a fireplace?
Den

92. Do you want to get married?
eventually

93. If married, how long have you been married?
N/A

94. Who was your HS crush?
Someone i never dated? Scott something

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
No

96. Do you have kids?
NO!!!!

97. Do you want kids?
maybe

98. Whats your favorite color?
purple

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
always, i live 11 hours away from my family

100. Who do you wanna see right now?
Hayley. I talked to her and now i miss her!

2006-07-18T20:43:00.000-04:00

I have one thing to say people. Leave the fanny packs at home.

I'm going to make a list of the states I've been to. I'd like to see all 50 before I die.

South Carolina
Indiana
Michigan*
Ohio
Pennsylvania
Maine
Massachussettes*
New Hampshire*
Virginia
Kentucky*
Tennessee
North Carolina
Georgia
Florida
Alabama
Mississippi*
Arkansas
Texas
Arizona
New Mexico
Utah
California
Missouri
Illinois
Kansas**
West Virginia*
Maryland*
New York
Connecticut*
Washington, D.C. (althought not technically a state)

That's a grand total of 30 so far. Only 20 more!

FYI, I've also been to England and Canada. One of these days i'm going to hike the ireland coast.

*=i only spent a short amount of time in this state
**=i was born here, but don't remember anything about it

Editors Note: Hayley made me this website! Go check it out!! Where I've been!
Editors Note II: It has been pointed out that i listed New Hampshire twice (as well as SC) and that i forgot NY and DC.

2006-07-16T14:25:00.000-04:00

I have discovered why Americans are fat. I have discovered the true secret behind American obesity. Two incidences come to mind i think fully demonstrates my theory.

A few weeks ago, i got out of my car and i saw a car pulling out of its parking spot. Nothing unusual there, except in front of his/her front driver's side tire, was a large, empty bag of McDonald's. The trash dumpster closest to my apartment, is at best 50 feet away. 50 feet people!!! So Americans are not fat because they eat a Big Mac with biggie fries and a biggie coke. Americans are fat because they eat a Big Mac, biggie fries, and a biggie coke and are too lazy to walk 50 feet to throw away their trash. Or they are too lazy to even carry the 5 grams of paper contents in the bag up to their apartment and throw it away there. 5 grams!!! That is a negligable amount of calorie burnage there. Hell, even my 70ish year old neighbor can carry an empty McDonald's bag. I find it absolutely repulsive.

The second incident occurred just a few days ago. I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Some of you may or may not know the irritation i feel at the grocery store based on two things. One, i hate customers in a grocery store. I worked in a grocery store for 2 years. On the whole customers are rude and stupid. Mostly just rude. Oh! And they can't control their children. Or think because you are paid to work there, you are at there to satisfy their every whim. My other problem, is most grocery store workers are also rude. I speculate they are angry and bitter because they are working in a grocery store. You know what?? Get over it. Either go to college and get educated, or go find a different job. This is America. You do have choices. Okay...i'm done with my digression. My biggest pet peeve about grocery stores though is people who can't put their buggies (carts for all you hoosiers) in the buggy corrale. I began pulling into my parking spot at the store, only to realize that some jackass had put their buggy in the parking spot because they couldn't walk the 50 feet to the corrale. Once again...50 feet. Americans are fat because they will go to the store, buy their chips, cookies, ice cream, pizza, etc. but they can't even roll an EMPTY buggy 50 feet and put it in a buggy corrale. Not only is it lazy, but it's also annoying as hell when there is a buggy in the middle of the parking lot. Not to mention there's the risk of hitting your car with one of those things. And trust me...they can leave a dent.

And there is my theory on why Americans are fat. They go out and buy bad food, and then are too lazy to discard of their trash. Not only are they killing themselves...but also the environment.

2006-07-14T15:41:00.000-04:00

Click on this link

Then select "This Week in Pictures July 6-13". The first picture says all that ever needs to be said about President Bush.

2006-07-13T20:48:00.000-04:00

Fiona Apple last night was awesome! She played with the locusts on stage which was definitely the best part. She didn't sing my favorite song "Never Is A Promise" but no matter how long she had sang...i still would have wanted more. It was totally worth the trip down to Indy last night!!! Breaking Benjamin is going to have to put on an awesome show if they want to take her place as my favorite concert. I burnt my finger on the oven. Right on top of the knuckle of the middle finger on my right hand. Dammit!

So i've decided to retry my hand at online dating. It seems to be the new wave of dating...so i thought i would give it another try (not ignoring my horrible incident last october). So this guy sent me an e-mail right after i came back from vacation...and when i didn't respond to him within one day...he sent me another e-mail...to make sure that i got his original e-mail. Not a good sign. I hate needy guys. I wrote him back...and then he wrote me again...and then again when i didn't respond in one day. Excuse me...i have a life. Do you mind?? If i didn't e-mail you right away, it's because i either didn't have time...or haven't come up with something witty to say. If someone is going to be this clingy after a few e-mails...this guy will be worse than a pair of panty hose attached to your nylon skirt. So...i sent him this...

"Yes...i got your last e-mail. I have been busy. While your enthusiasm is flattering, it is also overwhelming. Thank you for your interest, but I don't see a relationship developing between us. Sorry."

many of you may consider this cold. But let me interpret what i really wanted to say.

"Yes...i got your freaking e-mail and didn't need a reminder b/c it's only been one day. While your insistent need to speak with me everyday might be flattering to some...i actually find it to be quite stalkerish and very freaky. Thank you for your interest, but there is no way in hell i'm ever going to go out with you. Fuck off."

Why do people think i want to talk to them everyday? News flash folks! I don't!!! I know i'm cool and all, but i guarantee you that nothing exciting has happened to me in the 12 hours while i was slepping and working. I need at least 36 hours to recharge my charm. This doesn't come naturally!

2006-07-11T21:51:00.000-04:00

Everyone get out your violins...i'm gonna whine for a bit.

My hand hurts. It's been hurting off and on for about 3 weeks now. Everytime i lift weights...or lift anything heavy with my right hand...it hurts for days. Not a muscle kind of hurt either. It's a joint hurt right where the joint of my thumb meets my palm. You know...that knobby part right at at your palm. Anyway...it makes cooking difficult because i can't lift anything moderately heavy (i.e. a full casserole dish) with my right hand. i have to use either just my left...or both hands. I am right handed. Dianna wants me to see the doctor...b/c i work with my hands everyday. Therefore...if it's something serious...i could potentially lose my ability to work efficiently...or work at all. But...i really hate going to the doctor just for her to tell me to take two aspirin and avoid lifting heavy things for a while. Do any of my wanna be doctor friends out there have any diagnoses?

Also...tomorrow is Fiona Apple. I've been so busy with vacation, and then trying to get back into the groove of things...that i haven't had time to get excited. So this is me getting excited! WOOHOO!!! This time tomorrow i will be listening to my favorite singer since i was 16.

2006-07-09T22:22:00.000-04:00

It's official...i'm a nerd. I just finished reading Atlas Shrugged, and now i'm reading the cliff notes to make sure i have the best understanding of the material possible. Someone, please, stop the insanity. Also...i'm convinced my dog understands the word "present". I took him outside to go potty...and i told him i had a present for him, and he bee lined it back inside and waited for me to get his present. Who knew my dog was so smart??

2006-07-09T07:47:00.000-04:00

So i'm back from vacation, and still in one piece. First we drove from Fort Wayne to Buffalo, NY on Saturday. We saw Niagara Falls that day and had dinner with Dan. The falls were cool but we didn't see any Canadians. I was hoping to at least see a Mountie. But the falls were all lit up and it was cool. And our customs agent back into the country was actually from West Lafayette. How weird is that?? The next day we got up and drove to Kennebunk, Maine. Our hotel was this cute little inn with lots of personality. Our room was small, but the beds were cool and they had nicely scented lotion. That day we took the trolley down to Kennebunkport and ate dinner at Federal Jack's. We shared a cup of clam chowder and we both had lobster. It was awesome! Then we walked down further into the Port and went to all the cute little shops. They were cool and there were a lot of them, and each one of them were different. Then we went back to our inn, had some dessert at the bar. I tried this great Heffe Weizen so then i set to figure out who made the beer. The next day we went whale watching and got to see a few finback whales and a basking shark. It was cool. Then we did some more shopping. We found out that the beer i liked was bottled in Portland by a company called Sebago. So the next day we drove up to Portland, saw 4 lighthouses, and then went to the brewery. We bought a 6 pack each of the beer and put it in our cooler. We of course had to keep it on ice the rest of the trip, but it was worth it. Then we kinda lazed around a little bit and went and watched fireworks on the beach. The next morning we got up and drove down to Boston, picked up Bridgets instruments, and then drove to NYC. We checked into our hotel, which was right in the middle of the theater district, and only a few blocks from Times Square. We walked around Times Square and the city in general, and then we went back to get ready for the show. We went at saw Avenue Q at the Golden Theater. It was hilarious!! We both were just cracking up the whole time. The next day we walked around NYC some more and then we went to Jersey City for dinner. We drove about half way through Pennsylvania that night. The next day we got up early and finished the drive to Fort Wayne.

Overall it was definitely an awesome trip. Kennebunkport had so much stuff to do! This week is the Fiona Apple concert, and the Three Rivers Festival. So i'll be busy doing all that stuff. I have a few weeks of relaxation, and then my bro come to visit. Oh! and let's not forget the Breaking Benjamin concert.

2006-06-29T20:06:00.000-04:00

Today is going to be a little bit of a potpourri.

I just got an e-mail about very deadly spiders that hide under toilet lids. Can we just say that i am extremely freaked out about using the bathroom now. I have this image of a spider biting my butt...and then i die. How horrible! I think i will probably have nightmares tonight.

Yesterday i saw a guy wearing red pants...and an orange shirt. May i just say...it is never a good idea to wear two solid colors from the same color family. I tend to be a believer of the accent piece method of dressing. I also support that style of decorating. For example, today I wore a pink skirt and a brown shirt. My pink skirt was my accent piece, therefore the rest of my outfit needed to be a little more plain. So i wore the brown shirt and brown sandals. The brown is considered a neutral color. If i decide to wear a brightly colored shirt, I am sure to wear plain pants. A solid color of either brown, black, white, or navy. If i'm being all beatnik like...and wearing all black...i am sure to either wear bright colored shoes...or bright earrings or some other bright accessory. And there is my theory on dressing.

I like playing fetch with my dog after work.
I like taking naps on my couch.
I like sticking my arm out of the window and feel the breeze.
I love the sound of high heels clicking on tile floors.
I like wearing my lab coat.
I like thursdays when i get a new lab coat.
I like putting bandanas on my dog.
I like sleeping with the windows open.

2006-06-27T17:21:00.000-04:00

I would like to say.

Just because you ignore me, does not mean that i cease to exist. It does not mean that I don't have feelings. Or that you don't hurt them everytime you refuse to look at me when i speak to you.

Just because you can stand 3 feet away from me 5 days a week and not speak to me for over a month does not mean that i can not hear you.

Just because you turn away everytime I walk in the room does not mean that i stop entering the room.

Just because you are 23 years old does not mean you are an adult.

Just because you have a degree does not mean you are smart.

And just because you can speak does not mean you have people skills....or that people listen to you.

Just because people laugh at your jokes, does not mean they think you are funny.

Closing your eyes does not make me disappear. Closing your mouth does not make me stop listening. Closing your ears does not make me stop talking.

I'm done.

2006-06-27T17:13:00.000-04:00

1. Who was your first prom date?
Matt Bradley. He wore a zoot suit and had blue and green hair.

2. Who was your first roommate?
Other than my brother...Katie

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time?
Screwdrivers. Now vodka makes me ill.

4. What was your first job?
Cashier at Bi-Lo

5. What was the first movie you ever walked out of?
I've never walked out...but...i did turn off Punch Drunk Love within the first 30 minutes.

6. When did you go to your first funeral?
That i remember? My Papa when i was 14.

7. Who was your first grade teacher?
I had two. I only remember one though. Mrs. Ivy.

8. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
well...i was born in Kansas, moved to NC, then to Georgia, then Virginia, then SC. So...technically, my home town is Emporia, KS. So i moved when i was 3. Actually though, Seneca is my hometown...and i moved when i was 17.

9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
Arkansas

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
There was no sneaking out. If i did...i would not be alive.

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends?
The first one i remember is Miranda in Virginia. We only lived there for 9 months though. So no. I guess after that would be Anna Montinucci. We're still friends i guess. But we don't actually talk.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Dianna or my mom

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmade?
First and only time. Adrianne and Kevin's.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Hit the snooze sometimes, if i don't...i go run

16. What was the first concert you attended?
Aerosmith

17. First tattoo or piercing?
Pierced my ears when i was like 6. My first tattoo at 18.

18. First Celeb Crush?
hmmm...honestly??? Michael Jackson. (80's Michael Jackson...not freaky child molester Michael Jackson) NO LAUGHING! You all know you thought he was bad ass too!

19. First crush?
Christopher Pierce. He broke my heart when he moved to NY at the ripe age of 5.

20. First love?
Tough call. Matt Bradley I'd say, but that was puppy love...but the first guy i ever loved enough to marry...Brett.

2006-06-25T22:03:00.000-04:00

Due to a verbal flogging (maybe flogging isn't the right word...more like lash) there will be no more date grades. I'd sure hate to bring on some bad Karma.

It's official...i'm old. Today i went down to the leasing office to complain about some noise. Four nights last week (3 of them being during the work week) one of my neighbors came home at 4:30 AM with their music in their car blaring. Enough to wake me up and then they allowed their music to play for about 5 minutes, just long enough to get me good and awake. Well...last night was the last straw. I get up at 6 AM during the week so that i can go to work. I do not appreciate being woken up at 4:30 AM, especially by shitty rap music that can only talk about female body parts...and their obvious need to compensate for small penises by bragging about their money, their sexual conquests, or their endless supply of illicit drugs. It's not that i don't like rap music. I happen to be a fan of rap music that has a purpose other than giving my vagina another name. It is also official that my friends are old, because none of them mocked me for complaining about the loud music. In fact...they all understood. I think i need to go buy some hair color and learn how to play bingo. Sheesh!

This is my last week of work before vacation. I made our t-shirts this weekend. One is pink and says "Lobster...it's what's for dinner" and the other is blue and says "Where's the lobster?". Now all i need to do is pack and get ready for the trip in general.

2006-06-23T06:47:00.000-04:00

Oh! My! GOD!!!! Breaking Benjamin is coming to Fort Wayne!!!!!!!!!! Tickets are only $19!!! I almost hyperventilated this morning!!!!!!! August 2nd baby! One week before their new album comes out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could i be anymore excited right now??? NO!!!!!

2006-06-20T17:59:00.000-04:00

Analysis of date with the boyscout

Name of Date: Boy Scout
Location of date: Movie Theater and Pizza Hut
Date grade: C
Date bio: 32 yr old male from Chicago, IL. Works for the Boy Scouts of America and raises money for them. Very outgoing and in your face. Son of a woman i go to church with.

Details:

Quickly how we met: after church i was hanging out, he joined the group i was in and we started talking. He asked me out, i said okay. He came to pick me up on Sunday afternoon, and he brought with him a beautiful pink rose. He made sure to open all the doors for me, and was a perfect gentleman. We went and saw Cars, and then walked around the outdoor mall (in the rain) and talked for a while. Overall, nice conversation, and he seemed very interested in what i had to say. He asked a lot of questions, which i find unusual, but refreshing. He asked if i would go to lunch with him the next day (he was leaving for chicago that day) so i agreed. Lunch was nice, and that's when i discovered he was 32. I had thought he was 28, 29 at the oldest. He is a nice guy, but i wasn't feeling him romantically all that much, and then the age kinda pushed me over the edge. Although 32 is not by any means old it's pushing the age envelope. Also, it means he is probably more in a position to want a serious relationship and what not. And if he's not...then that's a sign that he has commitment phobia.

Conclusion:

I imagine that when he comes to visit his family we may hang out. But i don't forsee any relationship, if for nothing else that i don't want a relationship with anyone, period. But even if i were looking for a serious relationship...he's a little older than i'm looking for. I'm not being too picky, i'm just thinking, if things worked out great...by the time i was ready to have kids...he'd be almost 40. He gets a C because of his age, his proximity, and my inability to "get into" any guy i've met in the last 6 months. Although this last reason is not his fault...it's easier to penalize his grade than penalize myself.

2006-06-18T16:08:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since my last blog. I've been busy vacationing. I went to SC for an extended weekend last weekend and had a good time. I played tennis with my dad, went to a movie with my bro, went geocaching (adult scavenger hunt using GPS) with the family and then horseback riding with my mom. Overall a very good, and busy trip. This week i went to Wal-Mart, and saw some 16 year old kid getting busted by the Wal-Mart Greeter (you know, those 80 yr old ladies) for stealing condoms. Either that or he was returning them. They were Trojans. hehehe No matter how you look at it, it's still amusing. He looked like one of those "good" kids too. You know, the t-shirt with the funny slogan that's so popular, khaki cargo shorts, birkenstock sandles, geled (spelling?) and perfect fake tan. Talk about crack me the hell up. Nothing is better than seeing an old woman waving around a box of condoms in front of an embarrassed teenager. Yesterday i went hiking with gun enthusiast and columbo. We had a good time, and i learned the columbo likes to climb trees. I will try and add a picture below. Also, today i met a nice guy at church. He lives in Chicago, but we're going out tonight anyway. I'll give an evaluation of our date when i get home. His name is Boy Scout.

2006-06-03T20:39:00.000-04:00

I must say...this is going to be the most AWESOME summer ever! First...i'm traveling all over the place. I'm leaving for SC next week, and I've already been to PA. Next up is ME and NY, and then CA will be next on the list. Aside from traveling in July, i'm going to see Fiona Apple in concert for the first time! But to make this even better, Breaking Benjamin is going to start touring in late July! I don't know where or when they are coming, but I am soooooooooo there!!! Oh! And they have a new album coming out in August. Could i be any more pumped??? I think not!!!

In other news, i've come up with a professional plan to get me to the next step in my career. The steps are as follows:

Learn Quantitation
Learn Microcrystalline analysis
Join the American Academy of Forensic Science (app is almost done)
Join the Midwest Association of Forensic Scientists
Complete 24 hours on the job training for Clan Lab team
Redo resume
Take and Pass the American Board of Criminalistics test to be a board certified chemist
Testify in Federal Court (not sure how to accomplish this...but i'm going to somehow)
Apply for a job with the DEA

All of this should take about 18 months to complete.

I told Gun Enthusiast i wasn't interested in dating him. He seemed totally open to being just friends though, and we're going hiking when i come back from SC. Rock on! Oh...and i saw X-Men today. Way cool movie. I'm down with it. But to make it even better, i went and saw it by myself. I didn't feel weird about it, and no one looked at me funny. I wasn't treated as a leper, so perhaps i'll start going to movies alone more often! Next on my list to see is The Da Vinci Code, but i'm waiting until that hits the dollar theater. Oh! and I really want to see The Devil Wears Prada.

2006-06-01T16:01:00.000-04:00

The addition of energy to the equation is not typically stated. All chemical reactions require an activation energy of some kind to get over the "hump" if you will. Just going to prove that i guess every relationship (romantic or otherwise) requires that extra little humph.

I had no idea my chemistry post would cause such a stir! I've decided i'd go out with Gun Enthusiast one last time...and if i'm still not feeling him...then i'm done. He did call me three times last night...that's a little excessive i think.

I like the pheromone theory...i can just explain to him...i don't like you because i don't like the way you smell on a subconcious level. Is that a good line?

For what billy had to say though...about finding someone who is crazy about me...and that i just kinda dig....yeah i'm not buying that. I've never settled for anything in my life...and i'm certainly not going to start now.

2006-05-31T18:19:00.000-04:00

I have been studying chemistry now for six years. I discovered my love of chemistry eight years ago. Overall...i would say chemistry has been a very major part of my life for quite some time now. And yet...the more i learn about chemistry...the less i know about chemistry of the personal kind. How exactly does that work?

2H2 + O2 ---> 2H2O

That's not hard! Chemistry of elements always makes sense. It's logical, consistent, and always there. Why does that not work with people? There could be a good looking guy who shares some of my interests...2H2 + O2, but i get no water! Nothing...not even a drop. Not one single molecule. However...i can meet a moderately attractive guy that i have nothing in common with...and BAM it's a god damn waterfall!

Would someone please explain to me the chemistry of people? It's obvious that i am lacking in that department.

2006-05-30T16:36:00.000-04:00

Wow...i find this absolutely disgusting. I consider myself a pretty open minded person...but i just can't support the idea that 12 year old children can possibly make the rational decision to have sex with an adult. Nor do i think it is not animal abuse when people have sex with animals. It's bullshit that these people think they are defending the interests of children, and not just themselves. They complain b/c politicians speak of pedophiles as criminals...that's b/c you ARE criminals. I just have to draw the line somewhere ..and this is that somewhere!

Pedophiles forming political party