Sorry it's been a while since i posted. i haven't had too much to write about.

I went on two dates with the older man. Jackie has affectionately named him Old Balls Al, or OB Al for short. Yes...i know my friends are cruel...and that's why i love them.

He's a good conversationalist and very interesting...but in the end...it's just too weird. It's like going on a date with my dad. only there's the pressure for physical intimacy afterwards. Weird. Anyway that's pretty much been the extent of my life thus far.

I'm leaving for vacation on Friday and i'll be in SC until the 30th. An entire week with the Currys. Hooray. Note the lack of enthusiasm in my punctuation. I do get to see Hayley which makes me happy. I'll be back in time to celebrate the new year with Jackie. Woohoo!!!

I've been ridiculously tired lately...i definitely need a vacation i think.

Breaking Benjamin is touring with Nickelback and Three Days Grace. While i'm not a big fan of Nickelback...i AM a fan of Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace. They are going to be in Chicago on March 2nd. I'm going to be in Mexico until March 4th. I would say it's a bummer...but...then again...the reason i can't be there is b/c i'm in Mexico. Today was a good day. I didn't do anything except work out. I've spent the rest of the day sitting on my ass watching Christmas movies. The good ones. The ones with the Claymation. I especially like the movie "The Year Without A Santa Claus" because i like the song the Heat Miser sings.

I'm Mr. Green Christmas, I'm Mr. Sun
I'm Mr. Heat Blister, I'm Mr. 101
They call me Heat Miser what ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!

I never want to see a day
that's under 60 degrees
I'd rather have 80, 90, 100 degrees
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it really hot!

That's my kind of Christmas!

I have never hated anyone in my life. In my entire life...all 24 years, i have never met someone so incredibly passive-aggressive, so hateful, so full of ugliness. I just don't know how to handle it. This is such a difficult thing for me to manage. I have done all i can and i just am out of ideas. I cry at least once a week usually about this. And quite frankly i've just grown tired. I'm terrified that no matter where i go, things will be the same. It will always be someone else trying to hurt me. Someone please reassure me that things are going to get better. That i will not always feel like this. Please...anyone. And i need it to be sincere.

Have you ever had one of those days when you are hungry...but too lazy to eat? Yeah...that's been me pretty much all week. I'm seriously debating not eating tonight at all. But then i just remembered that i'm really hungry.

Fashion tip for the day:

If any of your socks are showing when you stand up...that means your pants are too short. Also...clogs look especially bad when your pants down cover them completely. So please...for the sake of those with sensitive fashion sense, do us all a favor, and buy longer pants. Here's a hint...if you bought them when you were in the 6th grade...they are probably too short!

PS. Muffin tops don't look good on anyone...not even super models (assuming they'd actually have them). If you don't know what a muffin top is...then you are beyond hope.

As cheerful of a person as I am normally, you would think that I would love Christmas. But in fact...the opposite is true. Christmas is really one of my least favorite holidays. Why you may ask? Let's review the facts.

But Audra! Don't you enjoy the spirit of giving?! Seeing people's faces light up when you give them a gift?

Well, while i do enjoy seeing people be happy when I give them a gift they really love, I hate the obsessing over what to get people. I spend hours upon hours debating what someone might like. And i worry that they won't like it...or that they are just pretending to like my gift.

Well surely, you at least love getting gifts? I mean...who doesn't like getting free stuff?

Of course i love getting free stuff! Why wouldn't i? But here's the problem...how often have YOU gotten a gift that you didn't like and had to fake it? Yeah...i don't like that. Because there's always that one crazy aunt who gives you a pink fuzzy bunny outfit, and you have to wear it around the house for one humiliating day because if you don't...your aunt will never speak to you again.

But all the beautiful lights and decorations! People humming Christmas carols! What could be better?

How about all those people staying at home and humming to themselves? Yeah...that would definitely be better. Decorations are cool and all, if people would take them down in a timely fashion!

The only goood thing about Christmas, is the food and spending time with people you love...or at least kinda like. But guess what...i can do all that at Thanksgiving...without all the Christmas hype!

I'm a perfect candidate for one of those cheesy Christmas movie. All i need is a crippled boy and some ghosts and I'll be a regular holiday classic.

Bah Humbug!