Last night i read "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks. I'm sure most of you have seen the movie by now...and it's pretty close to the book. Well...it really made me think of someone i used to know and love dearly. It made me a little sentimental, and then last night I didn't sleep at all. I kept dreaming of how things once were, and even how things could be in the future. I concluded I would not be able to lay the ghosts to rest unless I fully encompassed and accepted the truth of my feelings. Sometimes i think I should write down the story. One version of the story actually exists out there, and I cry everytime I read it. It is his version though, and not mine. I wish i could write it down...but it doesn't end happily.

An excerpt from the book that touched me.

"I don't know what to say anymore except that I couldn't sleep last night because I knew that it was over between us. It is a different feeling for me, one that I never expected, but looking back, I suppose it couldn't have ended another way.

You and I were different. We came from different worlds, and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love. You showed me what it was like to care for another, and I am a better man because of it. I don't want you to ever forget that.

I am not bitter because of what has happened. On the contrary. I am secure in knowing that what we had was real, and I am happy we were able to come together for even a short period of time. And if, in some distant place in the future, we see each other in our new lives, I will smile at you with joy, and remember how we spent a summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. And maybe, for a brief moment, you'll feel it too, and you'll smile back, and savor the memories we will always share together."

And just one more passage that cut deep.

"The reason it hurts so much for us to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this good-bye is both a good-bye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude of what will come.

When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to say good-bye.

I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly good-bye, I know we will see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before."

The excerpts are long i know, but to anyone who has ever loved and lost, it will definitely strike a chord, of that I am sure.