So this is gonna be not as cheerful as my posts normally are. I read an article the other day...that kinda disturbed me a bit. It is about how my generation of women were always taught that they could do whatever they wanted. That's exactly how i was raised. My mom told me that i could do anything and just because i was a woman it didn't matter. So i've always had the opinion that in my life...i would have all the things i wanted. I would have the job i wanted...i would have the husband i wanted...and i would be able to balance the career and family like a regular pro. In fact...it never occured to me that this wouldn't happen. The thought that i wouldn't have the career, or worse the family that i wanted never even crossed my mind. Because my mom said i could do whatever i wanted...and that's what i want. And it would seem that my generation of women have the wishes for their own lives. They, like myself, assume that they can conquer the world and still be home in time to make dinner and play with their children. However, this article emphasises that while this is an incredible goal...it is also incredibly unrealistic. That most of us will not succeed and will have to give up either the career or the family. They said that women who took time off work to raise their children cut their earning potential by more than half. Although taking time off is not something i plan on doing...it's just a little disheartening to hear someone tell me that i can't do it. So i've been thinking about that a lot lately. I've always gotten everything i wanted in life (not necessarily in the monetary sense) and the things that i don't have now...i assume they will be forthcoming in the future. But what if they aren't? What if i am destined to be a lowly chemist for the state of indiana for the rest of my life? Or what if i'm meant to be a spinster and never get married. Or never have children? I'm terrified of hitting 40...and thinking of all the things i haven't gotten to do. Or i think i will never have a chance to do. It's silly...but it's really been bothering me lately. But...how can you make something like that happen in your life? The only way i know is to believe and work hard. Which is what i've always done...but it seems that in the cases of some people that's just not enough. Not everyone grows old and looks back on their life with fond memories. And not everyone lives happily ever after. So...all i can really do is go through and hope for the best. Which...i don't really like that idea. So...really...i don't know what to do. It just makes me a little sad to think there's a possibility that i won't get to do all the things that i want. I just hope if that happens i can be happy with my life.